


You're not a Monster, You're Beautiful

by Leo062520



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Abuse, Anal Fingering, Angst, Angst is my middle name, BDSM, Blow Jobs, Blushing Eren Yeager, Bottom Eren Yeager, Eren Is Not A Minor, Eren Likes Wearing Lingerie, Eren is innocent, Fluff, Hand Jobs, Huuuge Age Gap, I can't write for my life, I love fluff, Innocent Eren Yeager, Levi is a pervert, Like I'm sorry but I don't wanna rush their relationship, M/M, Masturbation, My First Fanfic, Older Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Riding, Roleplay, SO MUCH FLUFF, Shy Eren Yeager, Slow Burn, Smut, So much angst, Softy Levi Only For Eren, Suicide Attempts, Top Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Violence, Younger Eren, intercourse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-07
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-17 19:13:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 28,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28605030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Leo062520/pseuds/Leo062520
Summary: Eren Yeager suffers from a disability, and his father believes he is nothing but a worthless piece of trash. However, a random encounter with a short raven-haired male has him falling head over heels. Can the stranger manage to convince Eren he isn't a monster but a human being deserving of love?
Relationships: Armin Arlert/Erwin Smith, Jean Kirstein/Eren Yeager, Krista Lenz | Historia Reiss/Ymir, Levi/Eren Yeager, Moblit Berner/Hange Zoë, Oluo Bozado/Petra Ral
Comments: 63
Kudos: 386





	1. Ghostin'

**Author's Note:**

> Heyy loveliessss, this is my first fanfic!! Since AOT is coming to a close soon, I feel like I needed to delve into the fandom and be a little more active to show my appreciation for the series as a hardcore fan, so I decided to write some fanfic! Give me some feedback please, so I can improve my writing! I also uploaded this on Wattpad! So if you prefer reading it on there, you can too! Enjoy!!

The cool breeze plays with his brown locks, swaying them back and forth like ocean waves. Eren has no particular destination in mind. He's aimlessly walking as "Needy" by Ariana Grande blasts in his ears. Glancing down at the cracked asphalt beneath his feet, he kicks a pebble, imagining it to be Grisha, his father.

A streetlamp flickers in the distance, illuminating a sign reading "Shiganshina Park." Eren contemplates whether he should trespass in the dead of night. Who's he going to hurt by sneaking into the park? The neighbored friendly hobo? Without a second thought, he climbs over the closed gates. His long legs smoothly lunging him over. Landing with a slight thud, he looks around, but it's pitch black.

Alone in the darkness, he doesn't have to annoy anyone with his bothersome presence. Pulling out his phone from the pocket of his sweatshirt, he turns on the flashlight, searching for a place to sit. Spotting a bench in the distance, he trudges along the grass, leaves crunching under the pressure of his steps. He glances around, making sure he's alone, before allowing his body to fall limp against the wooden bench. The pain in the heels of his feet has begun to subside. He can't recall how long ago he started walking, but it feels like hours. If he hadn't sneaked out of his house to take a breather, the box cutter would have dug a little deeper into his wrist than usual.

After failing numerous suicide attempts, Eren no longer desires to take his life. He can't bear the tantrum his father throws after every discharge from the mental psych ward. _Can you, for once, stop being a nuisance! Enough with your pathetic suicide attempts! You're being more of a burden taking your life than existing! Be one or neither!_ Empty wine bottles would crash against his skull, and he recalls cowering in fear, pushing his legs forward, and sliding against the tiled floor, attempting to distance himself from the ball of anger. The taste of iron would mix with the tears and snot, and the morning after, he would drag his bruised, beaten body out of bed to clean the mess. If he were going to be a burden, he would be one quietly.

Glancing down at the phone screen, he opens his playlist, tapping on "Ghostin." He let his head fall back, hood no longer covering messy brown hair. Humming the tune, he watches his breath fog in the cold. He knows he's alone, so he decides to sing the remainder of the song aloud. He isn't confident in his voice, but he could care less. It wasn't as if he was singing to please anyone. The hobby just gave him a sense of calm. It brings him back down after his head wanders too far above the clouds.

_"I know you hear me when I cry_

_I try to hold it in the night_

_While you're sleepin' next to me_

_But it's your arms that I need this time (This time)"_

Closing his eyes, he envisions his mom. Although she played a short role in his life, she meant the world to him. She accepted him despite his difference and bore the scrutinizing stares others drilled into his back. Eren remembers her cradling him to sleep, whispering loving messages into his little chubby ears.

_"Baby, you do it so well_

_You been so understanding, you been so good_

_And I'm puttin' you through more than one ever should_

_And I'm hating myself 'cause you don't want to_

_Admit that it hurts you"_

She didn't deserve to endure the humiliation and insults because of his mistakes. But she chose to smile, slightly bow, and apologize. Back then, he knew nothing of the baggage she had to carry, but now, he was able to recognize how huge of a burden he was to her. And if he forgot, Grisha would remind him. His father ensured Eren knew he was responsible for Carla's death.

Tears trickle down his face, and the brunette opens his eyes. _Fuck this world_ , he thinks. Fuck it for playing and toying with people's hearts. Eren would have started a rumbling with titans if he could have his way, demanding them to crush every last living, breathing life source on Earth.

_"I know that it breaks your heart when I cry again_

_Over him, mmh_

_I know that it breaks your heart when I cry again_

_'Stead of ghostin' him"_

An unfamiliar voice suddenly cuts him off.

"Nice singing, kid."

Fear shoots through his body, and he quickly attempts to collect himself. _Shit, was I caught?_ Squinting his eyes, he only manages to make out a short silhouette of a man. He isn't sure if the stranger is a cop or not, but apologies spill from his lips.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I thought I was alone! I didn't mean to disturb you, nor did I mean to-",

"Quit rambling, brat. I'm not a cop."

The dark frame inches closer, and Eren made out his features. Teal gold met gunmetal blue, and Eren's eyes widen. The man has silky black hair, which parts slightly to the side, and a buzzcut. The moon illuminates his milky white skin, and despite wearing a coat, the brunette can outline the muscles bulging from his arms. Completely awestruck, Eren was slow to process the question he asked.

"Why'd you stop?"

Blinking once, then twice, the brunette manages to let out a hushed answer.

"U-u-um...I don't like singing in front of people."

Snorting, the stranger takes a seat beside him, shortening the distance between the two.

"What a pity, you actually sounded decent. Anyway, what's a brat like you doing here in the middle of the fucking night, singing to himself?"

 _Brat?_ Did he call him a brat? For some reason, Eren feels insulted, but he knows someone of his worth has no right to be addressed politely or respectfully. Trash is trash—nothing more, and nothing less.

"I-I-I was taking a walk outside."

Glancing down at his shoes, Eren nervously fiddles with the ends of his sweatshirt. The brunette prays the handsome stranger will leave him alone. He's too tired to hold a conversation, and his social anxiety is skyrocketing through the roof.

"You always speak so quietly? I could barely hear half the shit you just said. Speak louder, brat."

The man's harsh tone has Eren complying with his demands, and he repeats himself, slightly raising his voice.

"I said I was taking a walk."

"A walk? And you happened to trespass on park property? Not that I should be talking, I also did the same."

Eren slowly glances up at the man. He's staring straight ahead, one leg crossed atop the other. Based on his posture, he could tell the stranger carries himself with confidence and pride. He's also probably rich. The brunette didn't miss the way his Rolex watch glistens against the moonlight. Surely someone so handsome would be married, and have a lovely family awaiting him, ready to pull him into a warm hug and tell him how much they missed him. So why, Eren wonders, is a man like he venturing alone into a park at night?

He takes the courage to ask. "What about you? Why are you here alone?"

The stranger turns his attention towards him, and the eye contact has the brunette squirming in his seat. He quickly averts his focus to a small weed growing on the edge of the bench's leg.

"I was bored.", he replies.

 _Bored?_ If Eren were bored, he would have gone to the local arcade and played games all day. Not walk outside in the bitter cold. But he chooses not to pry any further. What the man decides to do is none of his business.

"Aside from singing, why were you crying?"

The question completely catches the brunette off guard. He immediately looks up, staring straight into those gunmetal orbs.

"H-h-how could you tell?"

Smirking, the man rummages into his coat before pulling out a cigar and lighting the end.

"Not hard to figure out, considering your eyes are slightly swollen and red."

He blows out a puff of smoke, and Eren feels his face heat up in embarrassment. He hates crying in front of people. It makes him feel more vulnerable and weak.

"I was crying because I wanted to. That's all."

Eren isn't about to spill the beans of his life to a stranger. Besides, he doesn't need someone else perceiving him as a freak. The list is extensive enough.

"Fine. You don't have to tell me. But here's some personal advice from a man in his thirties. I've lived long enough to know that certain people are worth shit. Just keep those you value close to your heart, and focus on them even if they're no longer with you. Everyone else can fuck off."

Completely dumbstruck at the man's words, Eren could only gawk speechlessly into his eyes.

"Something on my face, kid?"

The brunette realizes he was staring for too long, and a bright shade of red travels from his cheeks, to the tip of his ears.

"S-s-sorry! No, I was just surprised by what you said."

He hears the man sigh and watches as he taps the end of his cigarette. Crusty ashes slowly fall to the ground. For some reason, the brunette can feel the weight of the stranger's exhalation. It was familiar. It's as if he was breathing out pain, just like the brunette. What pain? Eren doesn't know, but he can relate.

"Nice to know my words struck a chord in your heart. Anyway, I'm going to take my leave now. Stay safe kid."

Eren observes the man stand before pulling out the cigarette in his mouth and dropping it to the floor, crushing it beneath his feet. He turned his back and began walking towards wherever he was going. _Probably home_ thinks the brunette. A place he could never have but only wish for. He let the man's words replay in his head. A small smile tugs at his lips. Wiping his eyes, Eren thanks the stranger from the bottom of his heart. He couldn't remember the last time someone spoke to him so kindly.


	2. Moonlight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YeSsSsSs, that's right folkssss two chapters in one day! I plan on keeping the updates like that as well, so two chapters per weeeek, but every Friday! Hope y'all enjoy! Love u!

_Love at first sight?_ No. Levi Ackerman refuses to believe in such fairytale bullshit. He's dealt with enough crap in his life to know the world isn't all magical and flowery, with obese fairy godmothers waiting to whisk your shitty life a 180. But the moment he laid eyes on those beautiful ocean orbs, for a mere second, he bought into the childish fiction.

To make matters worse. The kid's voice! God, he thought he died for a second and mistakenly ascended to heaven. Pinching the bridge of his nose, he shakes his head in disbelief. The brat can't be a year older than 16, and here he is, pinning after a minor. God, what the fuck is wrong with him? Has he finally hit rock bottom? Walking towards his Porche, he fishes his pockets for the keys. He needs some booze, anything to rid his mind of tonight's events. Turning his car on, he climbs into the passenger seat and closes the door before running pale fingers through his hair.

What were those cheesy words? Never in his life has such cringy shit spilled from his lips. Levi is a stoic man and keeps to himself. He could care less about others. And here he was, deciding to confront some random teen and enlighten him with some words of wisdom. Out of all the times, the raven wanderers the park, the kid chose that one particular night. But part of him is glad he met the teen. The brat looked like he was on the edge of breaking. As beautiful as his singing was, Levi didn't miss the hint of sadness laced into the tune. It was all too familiar, and something tugged at the raven's soul. Before he realized it, he followed the voice and ended up in front of the tan beauty.

The boy's eyes were watery and seemed to shimmer underneath the moonlight. Levi had to say something. His insides ached at sight before him. Something so gorgeous and fragile needed to be protected, shielded from the cruel hands of the world. Levi didn't stay long enough to see if he was okay, but the raven hoped he managed to flip a switch somewhere in the brunette's heart.

Starting the engine, he decides to head home. He presses hard on the gas peddle, tightening the grip on the steering wheel. He needs to get back fast. Levi realizes his mind is delving into dangerous territory, and he grew slightly worried about his stupid cat. Shitty four eyes, if Hange couldn't care for the messy creature, she shouldn't have bothered adopting it. Despite being married to Moblit for four years, the brunette was unaware of her husband's allergies towards cats. The couple rushed to the ER the same day she welcomed the kitten home. Moblit had been kept in the dark, utterly unaware of his wife's intentions. Had it never occurred to Hange, she should have told him before signing off the adoption papers?

Much to his regret, no one else was willing to take the kitten in. Erwin's new boyfriend moved in, and the blonde coconut was too frightened of cats. Petra was having a baby, and Olou was afraid the feline would scratch the poor infant's face off. Miche faced the cat's wrath first hand when he decided to sniff its butt. The scratches never entirely faded from his forehead, and Levi can't help but pity his coworker whenever they cross paths. Eld and Gunther's living space was far too small for an extra companion. Thus, the only option left was Levi. He outright refused when he first heard the request. No way was he about to let some sleazy creature walk around his apartment, shitting wherever it pleased and clawing his precious furniture. However, after annoying him every day at work, sending him multiple phone calls and text messages for a month, the raven gave into the brunette's plea. He did owe Hange a great deal. As much as he hates to admit it, she helped him plenty, and he needed to return the favor.

Finally reaching the condo, he enters into the safe confines of his home. He finds Titan head deep in the feeding bowl, asleep. He most likely passed out waiting for Levi to return and feed him dinner. Placing his shoes and coat in the closet, he heads over to the kitchen before pulling out cat food.

"Oi! You fat shithead! Mealtime!"

He watches Titan's head pop out of the bowl, whizzing towards his direction. The cat quickly scrambles up and runs towards him as fast as his chubby feet can carry him.

"Am I overfeeding you? I don't remember you being so fat."

Maybe animals could understand human talk because Titan dug his sharp nails into the raven's ankle, bearing his pointy teeth and hissing up at him.

"What the actual fuck! Are you asking to get dumped outside? Because I literally will drop your sorry ass in the cold streets!"

Immediately regretting his actions, Titan retracts his claws, letting his tail droop, and widening his eyes, giving Levi the cutest apology he could manage.

"You sly bastard."

Walking over to the feeding bowl, he dumps some wet food and changes the water. He watches the furball prance to his meal, completely ignoring the raven's presence.

"Fucking two face," Levi grumbles under this breath.

The raven heads down into the wine cellar, eyes skimming the array of glass beverages before landing on his favorite. Pulling it from the chambers, he jogs up to his room. He folds his suit jacket into the laundry basket, rolls up the sleeves of his white dress shirt, and unbuttons the first few buttons before loosening his tie. Falling back on the clean covers of his bed, he pops open the bottle of wine before chugging the contents down.

He needs to forget him. Levi knows the kid could never be his, and he doesn't want to drag the brunette down. Levi's life isn't perfect; heck, it was far from being the utopia he desires. If the kid were to get involved with him, his life would turn into more of a train wreck. Besides, he's delusional, pretending as if he would meet the teen again. He doesn't even know the kid's name, nor is he familiar with Levi's. Their encounter is a one-time happening, and the raven knows the universe doesn't deal with his cards kindly.

Once he never sees the kid again, time will eventually do him the favor of erasing him from his memory. But does he truly wish to forget those beautiful ocean eyes? Or that exceptional voice? Ugh, this is becoming more and more of a nuisance. Continuing to plunge his thoughts with booze, he feels his phone vibrate in the pockets of his pants. The only moron willing to speak to him at 2 in the morning for no reason is Hange. Grunting, he pulls the device out, debating whether he should answer the call or not. Maybe the crackhead's weird conversations can draw Levi out of his feelings.

Tapping the answer button, he places the device to his ears. He immediately regrets the decision the moment a loud squeal ricochets through his eardrums.

"Leeeeeviiiiii!"

Stretching his arm as far as he could, he puts a considerable distance between the phone and his face.

"What the fuck shitty four-eyes! Are you trying to make me go deaf?"

Hange giggles on the other end.

"Nooooo silly. I was so happy you picked up my call. Usually, you ignore me."

Snorting, he places the call on speaker.

"That's because I already handle enough of your ADHD at the office. I don't need it disturbing my peaceful nights."

He hears the brunette cackle. God, he doesn't know how Mobilt manages to deal with this every day.

"Ohhh, you're so funny, Levi! Always making me laugh! Anyway, spill the tea!!! What made you wanna pick up my call this time? Something must have happened! Hmmm? COME ON TELL ME! TELL ME! TELL ME! PLEEEEASSEEE?"

Was it possible for a person's voice to rise so many octaves?

Levi's frightened if he were to explain the situation, he would manage to convince himself of the unfathomable (that he might score a chance with the brunette). The expectations would only rise, leaving room for heartbreak.

"Nothing happened four eyes, I felt bad for ignoring you, so I picked up."

He could practically see the wheels turning in Hange's head. Despite appearances, the brunette can be quite perceptive, It's hard to push things past her, but just this once, he hopes she won't pry.

"Hmmm...okay!"

That was easier said than done.

"I'll wait until you're ready to open up to me. Just know that if you ever need someone to talk to, I'm one phone call away!"

"Yeah yeah, whatever.", the raven mumbles.

He could hear someone whine on the other end, probably Moblit. She must have woken the poor man up from all the screaming.

"Awww, looks like I gotta cut our conversation short. Poor Mobie's awake! Anyway, see you tomorrow at the cafe! Love you, Leviii!"

The cafe? What cafe? Didn't they have work tomorrow? Before the raven could ask the brunette what she meant, he hears the call cut. Fuck! Then it dawns on him, Erwin decided to hold their next meeting at some shitty cafe tomorrow since they were planning on congratulating Olou and Petra on their baby girl. He was too busy with thoughts of an ocean eyes tan cutie that it completely slipped his mind. He was supposed to head out today and find some crappy baby gift. But, his past came to haunt him, and he wandered the night at the park to clear his mind.

Whatever, he'll write a check for them, everyone knows the raven struggles to show any signs of affection towards his colleagues, or for anyone at that matter. It wouldn't surprise the couple if Levi showed up with money rather than a thoughtful gift like a bouquet, chocolates, or baby clothes.

Fatigue began to tug at the corner of his eyes, and Levi quickly closed the bottle of wine, returning it to the cellar. Despite suffering from insomnia, alcohol never fails to force him to rest. He rushes into the shower, knowing he would be disgusted with himself if he passed out in yesterday's work clothes, covered in sweat. Quickly drying himself, he climbs into bed, butt naked. He feels himself drifting off with thoughts of the boy. The cute blush that tinted his golden skin whenever he gazed into those beautiful teal eyes, and his small hands that fiddled with the hem of his sweatshirt. Levi wonders how little they would be against the palm of his hands. Musing over the mysterious brunette, he drifts to sleep, his lips pursed into a small smile.


	3. Breathin'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyy luv's, this chapters a little extreme and graphic. I suggest you proceed with caution. It's gonna get really violent, and crazyyy. I'm still working on the next chapter, but I'll definitely upload it sometime tonight or tomorrow. Thanks to everyone who's reading! And remember if you're ever feeling like you're lost, always reach out to someone. You're never alone my lovelies! There is always someone out there who's waiting to hug u!

" _Hey honey, it's okay. You'll be okay. Mommy's here, and I'm not going anywhere. I need you to stay with me, okay."_

_I hear a familiar voice, but I can't remember who's. It sounds so distant. Looking around, all I see are floating science instruments and papers. But I'm alone. I could've sworn everything was normal a few minutes ago. I was with Armin, Mikasa, Jean, and the rest of the gang, and we were having lunch in the university cafeteria. Horse face was firing a cringy pick-up line at Mikasa, making Sasha snort her sandwich up her nose. We all burst into a fit of laughter, and I recall Jean insulting me from the embarrassment. Before I could taunt him, the room spun, and I found myself back in the lecture hall of my chem class._

_Gazing outside the windows, all I see is pitch black. My head's dizzy, and I feel bile rising from my stomach. I think I'm going to be sick. I need to hurry and get the fuck out of here. Spotting the door, I attempt to sprint towards it. But for some reason, I can't move. Something is pinning me down by the waist. Panic surges through my body, and I trash around, swinging my arms and legs._

_"No! I need to get out of here! Let me fucking go!" I scream._

_Vomit spills from my mouth, and I feel it dampen my clothes. Hacking and coughing, I cry in fear. Tears blur my vision, and my face feels sticky from snot and drool. Through hooded eyes, I look around the room, panting. My body feels like it's on fire. My sights land on the door again, and mustering whatever strength left, I toss my head side to side, kicking at the air, attempting to free myself. But I can't seem to loosen from the grip. Eventually, my body gives out, and I fall limp._

_"Mom." I whimper._

_I just wanna be home, anywhere but here. Inaudible pleas leave my lips as I weep for help. The shattering of glass startles me, and I glance around in a frenzy. My eyes widen as an abnormally large hand plunges from the dark. It's slender bony fingers curling around the frame of a broken window. Appearing is a creature with long brown hair, pointy ears, and sharp teeth lining the outside its mouth. I freeze, my heart dropping into the pit of my stomach._

_What the fuck is that?_

_I watch it tear the wall apart, making room for the rest of its body. It enters the classroom and scans the surrounding before locking eyes with me. It lets out an ear-piercing screech._

_Is this it? Is this where I die? I haven't accomplished anything yet. I'm only 19. What about mom and dad? My friends? Will they be sad?_

_I let out a hysterical laugh. I'm so stupid thinking someone like me is worthy of mourning over. Give it a few years, and perhaps my parents will have a new son. The gang's going to find another brunette with green eyes, and I'll be out of the picture. It's as simple as that. I hear the creature stomp towards me. It's naked form inching closer and closer—the schoolbags scattered throughout the floor zip open. Supplies including pencils, scissors, rulers, and staples levitate from the pockets. I shut my eyes in terror._

_A sudden gust of winds blows past my head, and I hear something stab and crash at the wall behind me. My teal orbs fly open, and I peer around. Shards of glass from graduated cylinders and burettes are spattered everywhere, and jabbed into the walls are scissors, pencils, and staples._

_I scream like a madman. "FUCK NO, I DON'T WANNA DIE! SOMEONE HELP ME! PLEAAASE!"_

_Screw everything I said before. I don't want to feel the pain. I need to live—adrenaline pumps through my veins, and I trash around again. But I can't escape from the invisible clutches. The creature comes to a halt. My chest is heaving, and I can feel my eyes bulging and straining against their sockets._

_"No please! Please don't hurt me!" I beg._

_Nothing happens for the next few seconds. Aside from my ragged breathing, silence fills the room. You can probably hear a pin drop. I see more school supplies hover, and my breath catches in my throat. Oh, god, no! They come hurtling towards me, and I squeeze my eyes shut, letting out a final bloodcurdling scream._

A sharp pain flares across his face, jolting Eren awake. The brunette's body is dripping with sweat, and he can feel his pulse thrumming against his fingertips. The effects of the hallucination are still lingering. _Another attack? Oh shit! I forgot to take my meds!_ After yesterday night's Rendevous, he snuck back home, immediately crashing onto his bed and skipping the pills. His thoughts were overflowing with images of a handsome stranger, replaying his husky voice like an addictive love song. Rubbing his cheeks, he realizes his dad slapped him awake. He turns his head, coming face to face with him, and he can feel the anger radiating off his vexed form. 

"You've been nonstop screaming for the past few hours! I come rushing into your room, and you nearly shattered my skull with the lamplight you tore from the socket!" 

_Oh crap!_ He glances down on the floor, seeing the broken lamplight. He's pulled his father's strings to the max. It'll be a miracle if he manages to escape the man's wrath unscathed and mentally sound. Trembling in fear, he prepares himself for the worst. His father yanks the covers off his body before grabbing his wrists and dragging him onto the cold wooden floors. 

"I know what you were scheming. You pretended to have an attack, so you could have the chance to kill me. Sorry to disappoint boy, but I'm more clever than you think." 

He digs his nails into his tiny wrist, and scars from the boxcutter deepen, causing blood to trickle down his tan arms. Eren whimpers, biting down on his lips to hold in the screams.

"N-n-no dad....I just forgot to take my meds. I-I-I'm sorry, I wasn't trying to hurt y-y-you." 

He receives a vicious kick to the gut, feeling the air leave his lungs. His body skids across the floor, tearing flesh open. 

"You fucking liar. I know a fag like you only thinks about himself. If you ever had an ounce of empathy, you wouldn't cause me so much trouble!"

Curling into a ball, Eren rubs his belly, attempting to soothe the aching pain. 

"God, you're so fucking pathetic. Just staring at you makes me want to hurl. I swear a dog has more worth than you. Fuck, maybe I should dump you onto the streets and adopt a mutt from the shelter instead."

Stepping over to where he lay, his dad digs into brown locks, yanking him up by the hair. 

"Look at me, boy! Pull this stunt again, and you'll have it worse."

_Worse? How much worse could it get?_ His body's already teetering on edge. If he were any more forceful, Eren would get an early ticket to the grave. 

"You hearing me?" A puff of warm air mixed with the musky scent of alcohol hits the brunette's face. He accidentally scrunches in disgust, quickly regretting it. 

"The fucks that face? Huh? Trying to be disrespectful? Seems like you haven't learned your lesson. Well, let me gladly teach you." 

An eerie smile creeps across Grisha's features, sending a jolt of fear down Eren's spine. _Fuck no. Please, someone, help me._ Those words sound all too familiar, and the brunette recalls reciting them during his attack. _So that's how it is. It's just like then, and no one's coming to rescue me. I'm all on my own._ Tears drip down his jaw, and he sobs. 

"Oh, shut up! Look at you, trying to act like the victim. You wanted to kill me first. I'm only defending myself against a monster like you!" 

Bony fingers encircle his neck before plunging into his airways. He gasps, writhing in pain, as drool tricklez down his chin. He can't breathe. The grip tightens, and his body begins jerking. 

"Abominations like you don't deserve to breathe. They should be punished for existing."

Eren sees stars as he feels himself slip unconscious. Before he can pass out, the pressure on his throat is released. His body's thrown back unto the floor, and he coughs up a fit, his chest heaving, attempting to suck in all the oxygen. 

"I hope you've learned your place. Never try to lay a finger on me again, you maggot." 

He spits on Eren's face before leaving and slamming the door shut. He falls back onto the floors, panting. _I guess that's what I deserve. It's my fault. If I had taken the pills, I wouldn't have caused him so much trouble._

His father wasn't always physically abusive. Before Carla's death, he expressed his disgust by ignoring him and filtering out his existence. He couldn't come to terms with Eren being gay, asserting either he goes to therapy or he'll no longer be his son. The teen wasn't about to alter his identity for his homophobic dad, so he chose the latter. Eren vividly remembers the countless nights he spent crying, upset Grisha would no longer speak to him. But his mother was on his side, being fully supportive and promising to love him twice as much. 

However, things took a turn for the worse after Carla died—his father sunk into depression, turning to alcohol as a cure. Eren was able to handle the first few onslaughts of abuse since it was mostly verbal. He would block out the slander by blasting music into his ears and focusing on the lyrics. But the booze eventually threw his father into a violent frenzy, and he resorted to punching and kicking Eren. The brunette had to alter his whole lifestyle to adjust to the mayhem, including rearranging his colorful, stylish wardrobe. He no longer wears crop tops or booty shorts but instead opts for long sleeves and baggy jeans. He can't risk anyone spotting the scars littering his arms and legs, especially his friends. Eren knows they would charge into the police station to file a case against Grisha, ignoring his defenses. Despite his dad being an utter scum, he can't bring himself to throw the man behind bars. They share the same blood, and the man used to be someone important to his mother. Locking him up in a cell just seems far too cruel. 

Staring up at the ceiling, it feels like the whole room is spinning. Eren can hear the blood rush through his ears, and he focuses on his breathing. The therapist and doctors often tell him to close his eyes and count to ten whenever he's recovering from an attack or feels anxious. But the technique has never worked. During the few years after the diagnosis, his mother was the only one capable of piecing his mind together. He would rest his ears on her chest, listening to the beating of her heart. It reminded him she was always waiting to embrace him with warm arms. 

_"Just keep breathing, and breathing, and breathing,"_ she would whisper. 

And Eren would mindlessly follow her orders, letting himself fall asleep to the rhythm of her heart. But with his mother gone, he had to accommodate new ways of conquering his hallucinations and anxiety. Along with Grisha driving him into a corner, he couldn't bear the exhaustion any further. The teen recalls picking up a shard of glass from a broken wine bottle his father threw against the wall. He curiously brought it to his wrist. _Maybe the pain will help._ Digging it into the soft flesh, he immediately retracted his hands. It had stung, but he noticed his mind no longer focused on the bad. It was too occupied with the searing pain on his wrist. Over time, he adjusted to the discomfort, no longer afraid. Thus, whenever he feels as if the sky's falling, he turns to the box cutter, hoping it will extinguish his thoughts and bring him back to reality. 

Weakly pulling himself up, he limps towards his closet. Ocean eyes skim the top shelf, landing on an old Nike shoe box. Bringing it down, he allows his legs to give out and sits back on the floor. His shaky hands remove the lid, revealing hundreds of boxcutters. Grabbing one from the pile, he places the box aside before rolling up the sleeves of his sweatshirt. He brings the object down on an unmarked area, a few inches from an old cut, and presses down sliding it across. Blood drips to the ground, and he holds in a sob. He can't have his father hearing him. He focuses on the pain, but a sudden image of a handsome dark-haired stranger flashes across his mind. 

_"Just keep those you value close to your heart, and focus on them even if they're no longer with you."_

The man's words echo in his head, and he suddenly throws the cutter across the room. He did the raven wrong, even after he went out of his way to speak so kindly to him. Clutching his wrist, Eren lets his head fall. _I'm such a fucking loser._ Curling into a ball, he gently rocks himself back and forth.

"I'm sorry.", he whispers. _I'm sorry for breaking the promise._


	4. Imagine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GOD THIS CHAPTER WAS A MESS! I APOLOGIZE BEFOREHAND! lmao, I know y'all dying for the fluff, so there definitely will be some next chapter. I NEED TO TAKE A BREATHER FROM ALL THE ANGST AND EREN DESERVES A BREAKKK! Hope y'all enjoy this crazy rushed chapter. Luv all the support btw! You lovelies mean the world to me! P.S I KNOW MY UPDATES ARE WHACK, *coughs* excuse that....

He can't breathe. Something's suffocating him, something round and fluffy.

"Hmph!"

Levi lets out a muffled scream and claws at his face trying to remove the lump of fat. He hears a loud hiss before soft paws pounce on his stomach, jumping to the floor. He jolts up, glaring at Titan.

"Get your fucking ass over here. I'll whoop it so hard you won't shit for a week."

Hearing the threat in his voice, Titan quickly scrambles out of the room. _Fucking cat_. He almost suffocated in his sleep. The raven spent hundreds on cat bedding, and the furball decides to use his face as a pillow. Groaning, he rubs his head, feeling a hangover approaching. God, he shouldn't have drunk so much. But it wasn't his fault -- all the fingers point towards the tan cutie. Dragging himself out of bed, he heads into the shower. The digital clock plastered on the wall reads 7 am, indicating he has two hours before work starts. Brushing his teeth, he mindlessly gazes at himself in the mirror, brain whizzing with images of the teen—warmth pools in his gut as he recalls those beautiful ocean orbs and angelic voice.

He's not even sure why he feels so strongly towards the brunette. Levi's fucked a decent amount of men and women in his life, but they were only temporary. He's never bothered dating any of them, finding their personalities off, or not wanting the extra responsibility. However, he can imagine spending the rest of his life with the tan beauty. Buying him everything his little heart desires and peppering his gorgeous skin with loving kisses.

"Fuck!"

He accidentally swallowed toothpaste, making his throat tingle and leaving a strong minty aftertaste. The raven needs to collect himself before he does something irreversibly stupid. If he continues with the day like this, even the idiots at work will catch on. Rinsing his mouth, he decides to take a cold shower, hoping it'll distract him from his thoughts. After drying his body, he wraps a towel around his waist and heads towards the closet. _Why the fuck are we even celebrating at a cafe? Wouldn't it be better to congratulate them at the office? Somewhere private and clean. Fucking four eyes, this is her idea. She just wants to stuff her face with sugar._

Fishing for his suit and tie, he pulls them off the hanger and neatly dresses. Heading back into the bathroom, he blow-drys his hair, slicking it back with gel. No, Levi's not changing his look, hoping to impress the brunette if they cross paths again. That'll be silly of him. He's just trying a new style. It doesn't hurt to switch it up a little. _Not bad_ , he thinks while observing himself in the mirror. Aside from his disappointing height, the raven's pretty confident of his looks. Before working for Erwin under _Smith's IT Corp_ , Levi dedicated his life as a Marine soldier. Although war left him developing severe PTSD and insomnia, he came out bulging with muscle. Even after retiring from the military, he still regularly exercises, managing a rigorous routine.

He sprays himself with some cologne before entering the kitchen. Titan's busy scratching his back against the cat post but immediately stops when he sees Levi. Fear spreads across his face, and he runs to hide under the living room couch. Sadly only his head manages to fit, and the rest of his body dangles outside. 

Levi trudges past the scene, pretending he never witnessed the furball's pathetic efforts. He rummages his fridge for water, ignoring the cat's cries for help. _That's payback for being an asshole in the morning._ Chugging down the liquid, he grabs a protein bar from the cabinet and calls it breakfast—the raven's accustomed to eating so little after surviving on the scrappy portions the military served. Feeling bad for the cat, he decides to help. Latching onto his fat behind, the raven yanks him out, startling the poor thing, and sending him scurrying out of his arms.

"Fucking insincere piece of shit.", he grumbles.

Titan realizes his mistake and gives him apologetic cat eyes from a distance. He shouldn't let him off the hook, but the asshat's had his fair share of karma.

"Fine, fine. I forgive you."

Levi watches Titan prance towards him, snaking his body around the raven's leg and purring. He can be an annoying piece of shit sometimes, but he does have his good moments. Shaking him off, Levi heads back into the kitchen, searching for cat food. He sees the furball jittering with excitement. The raven opens the can and dumps the contents into the feeding bowl, and replaces the water. Glancing at his watch, he quickly washes his hands before grabbing his keys off the dining table. 

"Don't die before I come home, and don't scratch the furniture. I'll have your head superglued to the feeding bowl." Bidding Titan a farewell, he jogs to the car and starts the engine, entering the cafe's address into the GPS.

"There is no heavy traffic, you will reach your destination at exactly 8:40."

Work doesn't start at 9, so he'll manage to arrive early as usual. Levi secretly hopes he'll see the brunette again. He should be avoiding him, but he can't help the fuzzy feeling in his heart imagining the possibility.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Leeeviiiiii!"

He hears Hange's voice through the cafe's window, earning a few questionable stares from customers inside. _Why is she so loud?_ From the outside, _Wall Rose_ looks run-down and on the brink of collapsing. Levi has to recheck the address, praying there was some mistake. His OCD's quivering, imagining the crusty tables and dusty floors. _Who in their fucking right mind will come here? Oh, right, they are._ Hesitantly entering the building, he spots Erwin and the brunette seated in the corner. He embarrassingly watches Hange waving her arms around like a madman. 

"Over here! Over here!" she yells.

"I can see you four eyes. Last I checked, I'm not fucking blind."

He takes a seat across from her, noticing the platter of sweets on her plate. _She's really planning on climbing the staircase to diabetes._ Erwin's taking a sip of his coffee, and Levi applauds them for having the courage to purchase stuff. There's no way in hell he'll be buying anything from the cafe. The place looks worse from the inside. He could sneeze, and dust will be floating everywhere. Has the owner never heard of a broom? Perhaps Levi should introduce him to Clorox and bleach.

"Ohhhh Levii! You look different today! Why'd you push back your hair?" she asks, spraying pieces of food everywhere.

The sight has the raven revulsing.

"Beacuse I fucking want to. Now shut your mouth, before I shove Erwin's coffe down your throat."

Erwin only smiles, accustomed to the banter between the two.

"I'm curious as well. But you do look handsome."

All he did is change his hairstyle, and they begin obnoxiously interrogating him. He pulls a checkbook from his pocket, earning a funny look from the blonde.

"Money? And here I thought you would buy something cute.". 

Levi sends him a stern glare. He wouldn't be seen in a million years, buying anything _cute._

"Are you asking to get punched? I'm not about to drag my ass to the fucking store and hunt for baby clothes."

Erwin laughs, continuing to drink his coffee. The raven pities his digestive tract, probably being poisoned by the contents mixed in the bitter liquid. After today, he won't be surprised if he never hears from him again.

"Erwin!" a high pitched voice calls.

Looking up, Levi sees the blonde coconut jogging towards their table. The teen's wearing an apron with the cafe's name printed across it. So that's why they picked this shit place. Erwin's boyfriend's a barista here. Why'd the kid choose such an unsightly place to work? Surely there are better options like Starbucks or Dunkin', neither of which the raven is a fan of. He and coffee just don't sit on the same boat. Levi prefers tea and nothing but tea.

"Armin!" Hange squeals.

From their brief interactions, Levi's glad to say he doesn't detest the kid. Most people annoy him, and he refuses to acknowledge their existence. But the blonde's gifted with something most of the human race lacks, common sense. If he turned out to be an idiot, Levi would have brushed him off. He also trusts Erwin's tastes. _Smith's IT Corp._ wouldn't be successful if the mastermind behind it were a fool.

"Hey guys, I'm glad you came! I've prepared the cake you've requested. I hope they'll like it."

A small blush creeps across Armin's face, and he peeks at Erwin through the corner of his eyes.

"I'm sure they will. Thanks for treating us, sweetheart."

 _Sweetheart?_ Did Levi hear that, right? When the fuck did eyebrows become such a sap? God, it made him cringe. Hange, on the other hand, was breathing heavily like a creep, nostrils flaring.

"Say Armin, what's Erwin like in bed?"

The kid squeaks in embarrassment, his face redder than a ripe tomato.

"H-H-Hange. Please don't ask things like that aloud. There are people around us."

"Oh, so you'll tell me when we're alone?"

Erwin laughs, wrapping his arms around Armin and pulling him onto his lap.

"Sorry to burst your bubble Hange, but we promised to keep our bedroom activities a secret."

For some reason, the words have Levi visualizing a certain ocean eyes brat. Before he can stop himself, he imagines creamy tan thighs placed on either side of his waist, pinning him down. His calloused hands mounding soft flesh as he grinds up into the heat, eliciting loud moans from swollen parted lips.

_What the fuck? Fuck no. Fucking hell no._

Levi Ackerman is not about to pop a fucking boner in public.

Internally slapping himself, he looks around the floor, hoping the insufferable sight of dust will drive his lust away. Luckily, Miche, Gunther, and Eld arrive a few minutes later, along with Petra and Oluo. The raven was able to keep his thoughts at bay, the celebration serving as a distraction. 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Driving back home, he feels a slight tinge of disappointment. He never did cross paths with the brunette. Droplets of rain splatter against the car windows, making him press harder on the gas pedal. _Fucking great. Can my life be any more dramatic?!_ He glares into the distance, and something whizzes past his peripheral vision.

Gunmetal orbs widen when said object decides to spring in front of his car. Levi quickly steers the vehicle to the right, managing to avoid ongoing traffic in the lane over. The rain makes it difficult to see, but he manages to spot a body on the ground.

_Did I almost fucking hit someone?_

Plunging open his car door, he runs into the street, ignoring the traffic behind him. The cars and trunks honk in annoyance before driving past the Porsche. He bends down to examine the body.

_Are they alive?_

Levi couldn't recognize the figure with a hood covering their face. He slowly pries it back, nearly doubling over from shock. It was the brunette—the mysterious tan beauty from last night.

_What the fuck?_

Levi immediately grabs his wrists, checking for a steady pulse. Finding a heartbeat, he immediately slumps to the floor, relieved. He fishes his pockets, pulling out his phone, and speed dialing 911.

"Hello sir, you've reached the Shiganshina Police Department. How may we help you?"

"I need a fucking ambulance. There's a teen collapsed on the road."

After giving them their current location, he drapes the brunette over his shoulders, lunging him into the back seat of his car. He keeps his fingers on the teen's wrist, making sure the pulse is stable.

"Stay with me, brat. You'll be okay."

The raven can't help but scoff.

 _Imagine_ thinks Levi.

_Just imagine a world where you nearly kill someone you love._

_Imagine a world like that._


	5. Into You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LMAO by the end of this chapter, y'all are gonna be like, none of this shizz makes any sense. I PROMISE EVERYTHING WILL COME TOGETHER IN THE NEXT CHAPTER, which I'll upload sometime tomorrow. Anyway, enjoyyyy!!! Sorry if it seems rushed, please give me some feedback if u think something needs to be fixed!! Love y'all!

Levi waits by his bedside. Gunmetal orbs fixed on Eren. _God, he looks even more beautiful asleep._ His brown locks spread messily against the pillow, and his lips are slightly parted as he takes shallow breaths. They're the perfect shade of pink, beautifully plump and suckable. The raven just wants to trace his tongue across them, delving into the warm heat, exploring every inch of the wet cavern. _What the fuck is wrong with me?_ The teen's in a critical condition, and he's thinking about pounding his ass into the sheets. Levi can't recall the last time his libido's gone manic. He usually controls his hormones with the occasional fuck from a bar. But with the brunette's sudden appearance, he can't imagine himself having casual sex anymore. It feels like cheating, even if they're not dating...yet.

Levi sighs, his head falling back. _What am I doing? I'm not even the kid's official guardian, and here I am, waiting by his side. The nurses should have contacted his parents by now. I should leave._ The raven's already paid for his medical bills, including the VIP room. The hospital is receiving direct sponsorship from _Smith's IT Corp_. They're aware of Levi's status as Vice CEO and didn't bat an eyelash when he requested their best medical staff or bedside service.

Glancing at the brunette again, he feels a tinge of pain in his heart.

Slowly bringing his hand down, he brushes back Eren's bangs, leaning over to plant a small kiss on his forehead. The feeling of warmth has him craving more, and he hovers across the soft expanse of skin, lips grazing the brunette's cheek. The seductive scent of cinnamon tingles his senses, and he quickly draws back before losing all reserve. _He deserves someone better. Not a cold bastard like me._ Levi rises from the chair and fishes his pockets for the car keys. He gazes at the teen once more.

"Goodbye, brat. Get well soon."

Before heading out, he stops by the front desk, requesting a specific doctor. In case the kid can't be discharged today, he wants his stay to be as comfortable as possible. There's only one man he can trust with the job, and he's more than determined to have him tend to the brunette's needs until recovery.

"Levi!" someone calls from the opposite end of the hall.

"Looks like he's here.", says the receptionist.

A familiar figure jogs towards him, a gentle smile gracing their features.

"Moblit. I need a favor from you."

The man comes to a halt a few feet away and raises his eyebrow in question.

"A favor? That's entirely unlike you, Levi. You rarely ask anyone for help. But what can I do for you? Does it concern that teen from the incident?"

Moblit's been employed at _Sina Hospital_ for the past ten years, and Levi trusts his abilities as a doctor. Despite his past questionable life decisions, specifically marrying Hange, Levi knows he can make important decisions during crucial times. He wants to leave the brunette in safe hands, and Moblit's the perfect option.

"Yeah, I want you to keep a close eye on him--make sure he's well-fed and cared for."

The doctor looks at him with a stunned expression.

"What?"

He strongly dislikes people starting at him, knowing too well they're probably judging him.

"N-n-no. It's just...I've never seen you so fond of someone before. It just caught me off guard, that's all."

"Sorry for pulling the fucking rug from under your feet. But I have a heart too."

Moblit lightly laughs before stretching out his arm to shake in agreement.

"Well, you can leave it to me! I promise to look after him. He'll be out in top condition."

Levi frowns at the gesture. No way in hell is he about to take grab ahold of his hand. God knows what kind of shit he's touched today.

"Ah...yeah, you don't have to shake. I get it. Hange tells me you're a clean freak."

"Tch. Stupid four eyes."

Speaking of Hange, he needs to warn Moblit not to utter a single word to her concerning today's incident. She'll spread the news all over the office. They'll probably tease him to death and stick their noses where it doesn't belong. She'll also probably rope the brunette in, and he doesn't want her anywhere near the teen... _cause he's mine._

"By the way, keep this a secret from Hange. I don't want her stirring unnecessary trouble.

Moblit quickly looks away, scratching the back of his head.

_No. Fuck no. He better not have..._

"Ah...well...the thing is...I kinda already spilled the tea..."

Levi wants to tear his head off and drop it from the roof of the seven-story building.

"I-I-I thought I should let her know since the two of you are really close..."

The raven does feel a little guilty for scaring him, mostly since he requested Moblit to care for the kid. But did he really have to run his mouth to Hange? Ugh, it's over for him. He should probably prepare a visa to move the fuck out of this country.

"Whatever, I'll figure out a way to duct tape her mouth. Thanks for taking up the favor."

"N-n-no problem. Oh, do you want me to keep you updated on his condition?"

Levi thinks for a moment. _He's not my responsibility, and I've done enough for him. The rest is up to Moblit and the brat's parents. I shouldn't get involved more than I have to._

"No. I trust you to nurse him back to health."

They bid each other farewell, and Levi takes his leave. _He'll be fine._ They've only been apart for a few minutes, and he's already growing anxious. _What the fuck is wrong with me? Why do I even care? He's just some lousy teen with the most beautiful emerald eyes, soft golden skin, and kissable lips._

"Watch where your fucking going, midget."

Some guy with circular rimmed glasses and brown hair shoves past his shoulder. 

_Midget?_ Did the guy just call him a midget?He would have beaten him to a pulp, but the man looks like he's in a rush. T _he guys probably got his reasons._ Levi lets it slide with a simple glare. But something about him irks the raven...giving him bad vibes.

_Whatever._

Heading to his car, he feels the pocket of his pants buzz. He already knows who it is, without having to check to caller ID. He lets the call go to voicemail, but a few minutes later, the device vibrates again. Realizing he can't avoid her forever, he answers.

"What shitty four eyes?"

"Leviiiiii, I heard some interesting newwws!"

_Fuck my life._

_\----------------------------------------------------------------------------_

The drive back gave Levi a throbbing headache. Hange wouldn't stop squealing with questions, like a pig. God, it drove him insane. Midway through the conversation, he hung up, fed up with her interrogations. Now at home, his own thoughts are pushing him to the edge. He's lying back on his couch while Titan's curls up by his feet. He's not sure of what to make of his own feelings, and it all seems utterly ridiculous. Their coincidental second encounter has the raven considering the bullshit soulmate theory, believing they're two star crossed lovers fated for each other. As much as his heart yearns for the brunette, his mind has other ideas.

Levi grew up believing someone like him isn't worthy of being loved or loving someone in return. His mother used to work as a prostitute, and he's never met his dad. At a young age, he's never seen love blossom beautifully between people. Despite watching shitty Disney princess movies with Isabel, his childhood best friend, the romantic aspect of the films never caught his attention. Instead, he found them stupid and always mocked Isabel for her unrealistic expectations of love. Even during high school, when Farlan, Izzy's brother, got a girlfriend, he never felt tempted to pursue any relationships. With his mother's sudden death during senior year, he completely drifted from the idea, believing love is an impossible effort. If no one loved a kind and beautiful woman like Kuchel, how is it possible for someone like him?

However, with the appearance of a brown-haired ocean eyes brat, Levi's whole outlook on life is railing off track. _Perhaps it's that voice, which sounds so angelically sad?_ Something about the teens singing stirred awake his emotions. He's been experiencing new sensations, including feelings of jealousy and obsession. Just the thought of the brunette spreading his legs, moaning and panting for anyone other than Levi boils his blood.

 _I hope he's recovering. What was the brunette even doing running around in the rain? Is he suicidal or something?_ Moblit never did reveal the reason behind the teen's absurd actions for privacy purposes. But the raven's smart enough to recognize that the kid's far from being okay. No sane person would sprint into the middle of ongoing traffic. Even during their meeting at the park, Levi found his behavior odd. He was just sitting on the bench, after closing hours, singing to himself in the cold. Maybe that's why Levi feels a magnetic attraction towards him. He reminds the raven of his past self.

After Kuchel's passing, Levi's uncle had sprung out of nowhere and offered to take him in. His mother never mentioned anything about him, except he was a general in the Marine Corps. Levi thought nothing much of it until the man began exerting his patriotic beliefs onto the raven. Obviously, he didn't fall for the bullshit, but he couldn't stop voluntarily joining the military. Despite refusing to believe his uncle's dumb ideologies, Levi felt obligated to fulfill his wishes. Kenny wanted Levi to carry on his legacy and become a high ranking corporal. After all, the man was his mother's brother, and disobeying him would be like opposing Kuchel. So the raven endured the brutal training and abuse from his uncle. It wasn't as if he was planning on pursuing any other future. He could care less about his life, especially after Izzy's and Farlan's death. The world lost its remaining color, turning entirely monochrome, and he had the same look in his eyes the brunette has—one teetering on the edge of breaking.

Sighing, he decides to call it a day. It's fucking funny how the universe rolls the dye on his life. The whole morning and afternoon, a part of Levi had been craving to meet the brunette. Even after the party, he was upset they never crossed paths, and he withdrew all his expectations. From the beginning, he thought it was hopeless, but then out of nowhere, the teen falls from the sky, landing right into his arms. _Fuck this shitty world_. Can anything in his life occur naturally?

He shoves Titan off his legs before heading into the wine cellar and rummaging for his strongest brand. He's definitely going to be needing something on the heavier side to get some shut-eye. Otherwise, he's going to be up all night, stressing over the tan beauty. Sliding under the covers of his bed, he chugs down the beverage before double-checking to see if his phone's on silent. He put it on do not disturb after Hange's obnoxious ass drove him insane. He can only pray the crackheads keeps her mouth shut. He threatened to hang her with a noose if she spills anything to Erwin or anyone from the office.

Hours passed, and Levi managed to finish the entire bottle of wine. This is the first time in a while since alcohol failed to put him to sleep. He just can't get the brunette out of his head, and it's almost six in the morning.

_Fuck, I'm so screwed._

Punching his pillow, he lets out a guttural scream.

_Fuck love, fuck emotions, fuck everything. This is impossible...there's just no way._

_Why?_

_Why am I so into you?_

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Levi got absolutely no rest. Trudging into his car, he grimaces at his reflection in the glass window. He can see the dark bags underneath his eyes. _Fuck, maybe I should order some of that shitty coffee._ Are these the side effects of the drug called love? Doing things you would never do? Not in a million years would Levi have imagined drinking coffee. But he needs something to keep him awake.

Entering the nearest Starbucks address into the GPS, he drives to the destination. But upon arrival, the parking lot and drive-thru are full. _Oh fuck no am I waiting in line._ He decides on Dunkin' instead, but the queue is just as worse. _Can the universe just kindly fuck off?_ The only other coffee shop he's aware of is that rundown cafe they went to yesterday. Leaving him with no other choice, he drives down to the place. He sits in the parking lot for a solid five minutes, letting the realization sink in. _You're really doing this, huh? If eyebrows were to see you now, he would be having the laugh of his life._

He hesitantly enters the store, face scrunching in disgust. _Why did I think this place would be magically clean?_ He walks up to the counter and spots the blonde coconut.

 _"_ Oh, hey, Levi! I didn't expect to see you here." 

"Shut up and bring me a regular coffee."

Armin gives him a weary smile before making his order. The kid's too bright and cheerful for him to handle. He just wants to sit somewhere, consume the poison in peace, and head to the office. Just as he turns to find a seat, he hears the shop's door chime, indicating a new customer's arrival.

"Eren!" He hears the blonde yell.

Levi's eyes widen by a good fraction. 

_What?_

_What the actual fuck._

Standing before him is the ocean eyes brat. 

_He's been discharged?_

The teen stares at him for a good minute before saying something incoherent. He stops mid-sentence, his whole face heating up. He immediately brings up his hands, motioning them in odd gestures. 

_Wait..._

_They're not odd gestures..._

_The brat's signing..._

_He's using fucking sign language._

_What in the actual fuck is happening?_

Realizing none of his messages are getting across, Eren rummages the pockets of his baggy sweatpants, pulling out a notepad and pen.

He quickly scribbles something, and tears a page, handing it to the raven. Levi reads the note, perplexed. 

_Thank you so much for yesterday!_

Then it hits the raven.

_He can’t be mute._

He had a whole conversation with him a few nights ago... 

_He's deaf._

_The brat is fucking deaf._


	6. In My Head

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's hear, it's finally here! Sorry for the wait, but this chapter was just so hard to write. I wasn't really sure which direction I should take it, so I just typed whatever came to my head, and kept deleting it. UGHHH SCREW WRITERS BLOCK! Anyway, there's like absolutely no Eren and Levi interaction, this is just focusing on Eren's discharge. I hope it managed to clear up some stuff, but I know y'all will still have some questions, so I hope u can wait patiently. Thanks so much for all the support btw, I keep thinking about dropping the fic, cuz I think my writing isn't good, but y'all keep me wanting to continue! Much looove!

_The sweet scent of cinnamon wafts through the air, and I jog down the stairs to the kitchen. Mom's probably finished baking the cinnamon rolls she promised. I see her pulling them out of the oven, and I duck behind the kitchen table. She's saving them for dessert, but they smell so tempting. Placing them on the kitchen counter, she turns to focus on the boiling stew._

_Now's my chance!_

_Quietly, I sneak towards the countertop and stand on my tippy toes. I reach over, but my wrist comes into contact with the hot edge of the pan. I fall over in pain, and my mom comes rushing towards me, pulling me into her arms. Her eyebrows are furrowed in worry, and I try to read her lips. But I can't make out what she's saying. Immediately realizing I have difficulty understanding, she carefully sits me on the countertop and slowly signs._

_Are...you...okay...baby?_

_I'm still learning, so a few seconds pass before I register her message._

_Sniffling, I nod my head to say yes. I know if I continue to cry, she won't stop fussing over me. Besides, I'm a big boy now! I gotta be strong, so one day I can protect her! She slumps her shoulder in relief. But anger washes over features, and she places her hands on her hips._

_Uh oh...I'm in trouble._

_My arms fumble around as I try to remember the sign for sorry._

_Ugh, why is this so hard?_

_Turning around, I watch her climb up the stairs._

_Where is she going?_

_I wanna follow, but I'm too scared to jump from this height. Gosh, I wish I didn't get her angry._

_Curse your cinnamon rolls!_

_If only they didn't smell so good, I could've waited until after dinner._

_She walks back in, and I see her clutching something in the palm of her hands._

_Huh?_

_What is that?_

_Bending down to my height, her arms reach towards me, and I shut my eyes._

_Am I gonna get hit?_

_I feel warm fingers gently pulling my ear before something cold is pushed into them. The sensation sends tingles down my spine._

_"Eren?"_

_Oh, I can hear her._

_Slowly prying open my eyes, I give her the cutest puppy dog expression and weary smile, hoping she won't be angry._

_"Eren Yeager, for the thousandth time, stop removing your I.T.E. hearing aids."_

_"Oopshie."_ [Translation: Oopsie]

_"Don't you "oopsie" me, young mister. You know how important they are."_

_"Bud mooooom, they're sho ishyy. I had do dake em off."_ [Translation: But mooooom, they're so itchy. I had to take em off]

_She picks me up off the counter and sits down on the kitchen chair, placing me on her lap._

_"I know Erbear. They can sometimes be annoying, but you need to hear mommy and daddy."_

_Pouting, I bury my face into her chest. Tears form in the corner of my eyes._

_"Why am I sho differend? I wish I didn'd have do wear dhese. I shound sho weird, and none of my clashmades wanna be fwendsh wid me."_ [Translation: Why am I so different? I wish I didn't have to wear these. I sound so weird, and none of my classmates wanna be friends with me]

_"It's, okay baby. It's better to be special than normal. The world is a much bigger place than you imagine. One day, you'll surround yourself with people who'll love you for who you are."_

_She threads her fingers through my hair, and I fall into the gentle caress._

_"For now, just know mommy and daddy love you, and we always will. Even if the world is against you, we'll always be by your side."_

_"Mmmm....okay. Can you shing me dat shong?"_ [Translation: Can you sing me that song]

_"Ohh, the lullaby?"_

_"Yeah."_

_"Alright."_

_She begins humming while winding my brown locks through her slender fingers. I gradually close my eyes, feeling myself drifting asleep._

_"I lub you, mommy."_ [Translation: I love you, mommy]

_I can hear the smile in her voice._

_"I love you to my little Erbear."_

Teal orbs flutter open, blinking once and then twice. The hospital lights are blinding Eren's vision, and everything appears hazy. Images of Carla flash across his mind, causing his heart to clench.

_I haven't dreamt of mom in a while._

The memory was buried deep in the recess of his mind, but time chose to dig it out, and he relived the bittersweet moment in an elusive dream. Even after so long, his mom's words are meaningfully cherished. He hopes never to forget them and can only pray he'll be reunited with her someday.

Groaning, he feels a throbbing pulsation against his skull. He glances to his side, spotting the heart monitor and a half-empty bag of IV fluid.

_Am I in the hospital?_

He tries to get up but immediately falls back against the soft bedding. It feels like his limbs are going to snap in half. Lying on the pillow, he examines the room, noticing the hint of luxury splayed out. The brunette spots vases with incense sticks on either side of the corner. The bedsheet is adorned with beautiful intricate designs, and his gown isn't itchy. Eren can't recall hospital rooms ever being so extravagant and comfortable. They typically smell like piss, and the fabrics make him claw at his skin like a feral cat.

_But what am I doing here? I didn't cut myself or O.D. on meds. All I remember is trying to catch the bus to university..._

Eren had a biology lecture in the evening but woke up late because he overslept (the meds took a toll on his body). Either he carpools with Mikasa since they have the same class, or he takes the bus. But he felt terrible always using her as an Uber driver, so he chose the latter. Despite her creepy obsession with him, Eren still views her as a sister figure and doesn't want to abuse their relationship. He sprinted out of the house when it started pouring, and then...

_And then..._

_And then what?_

_Fuck! Why can't I remember?_

He tugs at his brown locks in frustration. What if he managed to hurt someone? Or worse case, he was involved in an accident that killed a person? He could care less about his condition. He just wants to know if any third parties were involved and if they're alright. He can't live with the guilt, knowing he's responsible for not only his mother's death but harmless civilians as well. It's typical of the teen to overthink situations. Eren's mind has always been shrouded in the "what if's."

_Why am I such a monster? I shouldn't even be alive. All I do is cause people trouble._

He pulls up the blanket to muffle the sobs. All he wanted was to attend class and score straight A's this semester. Eren thought if he earned a reputable G.P.A., he could satisfy Grisha, and maybe he wouldn't be as abusive. But sadly, the world continues to work against his favor. God, how many lives has he ruined? How will he ever pay amends? His father's bound to throw a fit, and it'll definitely end violently.

Grisha already gave him a warning prior, explicitly stating he shouldn't be admitted again. It's not the medical bills that irk the man, but the interrogation by the hospital staff. During physical examinations, his scars and bruises layout bare for all the doctors and nurses to see. Questions arise concerning the origin of the injuries, and Eren lies through his teeth. The brunette explains the wounds appear accidentally when he and his friends fool around, playing sports or games. But there are only so many tricks he can pull from the hat before they catch on. And as of recent, child protection services have been involved. They'll probably make an appearance today as well.

_God, what have I done? I'll probably be behind bars and labeled a murder--rotting away in a cell for who knows how many years. But maybe this is all for the best. If I'm locked away, I won't be a threat to humanity any longer. Everyone will probably be safer and happier. Yeah, I'm merely doing everyone a favor._

Hiccups escape from his lips, and he digs into the blankets. He imagines how disappointed his mother would be. She brought him into the world, hoping her son would become an amazing man capable of bringing smiles to all faces. Carla also probably wished for him to marry a gorgeous girl. She loved children and perhaps wanted to hear the small pitter-patter of feet scurrying about the Yeager household.

_Dad's right. I'm just an atrocity. I shouldn't have been born. I made mom suffer nine months and go through labor, all for me to be worthless trash. I'm sorry, mom. I'm sorry for being gay and disabled. You deserved so much better._

Every gasp of air is like a stab to the chest. Eren feels his body draining, and he knows there aren't many tears left to cry. Perhaps a few more broken sobs before his mind succumb to numbness.

"... Sir, please reconsider. He's still not fully recovered! We ask you to wait another day or two patiently."

"I understand. But he's my son! I need to see him!"

"B-b-but, Sir! Please, he's still asleep. Let's wai-"

"I have to! He'll probably wake up scared. I want to be with him. Please!"

The brunette recognizes his father's voice and cowers in fear.

_Oh god, it's Dad! I know he's angry as fuck!_

The door swings open, and he quickly shuts his eyes.

"Eren! You're awake! How are you feeling?"

The heart monitor beeps faster, alerting the staff. The doctor and nurses rush to his side. 

"It's alright, just take deep breaths. Everything's going to be okay!"

"See, I told you he would be frightened. It would be best if you discharged him. Don't worry, Eren, dad's here. I love you, and I'll take good care of you, alright?"

Eren's blood runs cold, and he's too afraid to look his father in the eyes. The man's probably wearing a shit-eating grin. He has to play along with his scheme. Otherwise, he'll only sully Grisha's mood further. Plus, he needs to face up to his crimes. It'll be wrong if the victims' families don't find peace because he hasn't been reprimanded. There's absolutely no escape for him.

Shaking, he opens his eyes.

_This is it. It's all over._

_"_ I-*hiccups*-I-*hiccups*I'm s-s-sorry-*hiccups*-"

How pathetic, he couldn't even manage to a full sentence.

"What are you sorry for, Eren?"

The doctor rubs his back, hoping to comfort him. He patiently waits for his reply. Eren brings his legs up and buries his face into his knees, wincing at the pain. Even the smallest movement causes his muscles to ache.

"F-f-for *hiccups* k-k-killing *hiccupps* t-t-them."

He feels the physician's hand halt.

_I knew it. It's all my fault. Please, forgive me!_

"I think we need to bring in a psychiatrist. I have my suspicions his Schizophrenia's acting up. He needs stronger medications than his current prescriptions."

_Wait... Aren't they going to cuff me?_

He lifts his head and gazes at them, bewildered.

"A-a-aren't I g-g-going to be a-a-arrested?"

"No, of course not, You haven't done anything wrong."

_So I haven't killed people? I was just overthinking?_

Relief floods his body, and he slumps against the bed.

_Thank god. I don't know how I'd live with myself. But then, what happened? I still don't remember how I ended up here._

"He really does need help. I highly recommend admitting him for one more day."

"That's why he has me. I'm a doctor as well, and my skills are just as on par with yours. I know Eren will feel better once he talks it out with me. If he doesn't, then I'll personally bring him to a psychiatrist myself. You all have done enough. As his father, I couldn't possibly burden you with any more."

It might not be visible to others, but the brunette can see right through his father's facade. The man's on the brink of combusting. Eren knows he would never lash out in front of everyone, but he's definitely holding back until they're alone. It's better if he intervenes, they'll listen to him...hopefully. Besides, he's old enough to give consent and deny treatment. If he stays here any longer, they'll start the physical examination. So far, no one's mentioned his injuries. It probably slipped their mind. After removing the IV, he can lie about his cuts. He's already marked down for suicidal tendencies, and most of the recent ones have healed. He just doesn't want the C.P.S. involved. Otherwise, it'll definitely mean jail time for his father.

"I-I-I'm fine. I think I'm ready to go home."

"See? Look at how eager he is to be with me!"

The physician looks at the brunette, concerned.

"Eren, are you sure? Don't feel pressured to leave unless you promise you're okay. I still want you here, so we can investigate whether your disorder triggered the accident or not."

He's still unsure of what "accident" they're referring to. But if he blurts out the truth, they'll definitely make him stay.

_Forget about me. How I feel doesn't matter. As long as everyone else is safe, I'm happy._

_"_ Yeah, I'm sure. Also, the accident wasn't triggered by an episode. I was actually running late for class because I took Seroquel. I ended up sleeping in and sprinted outside to make it on time for the bus. It was raining, and I was in a rush, so I completely ignored my surroundings. I didn't mean to cause a scene."

_Please buy it...please buy the obvious blatant white lie._

He made sure not to stutter once. The doctor scans his features to ensure he's telling the truth before glancing at the nurses, who look just as doubtful. He sighs, deciding to give in.

"Alright. But, if you feel anything is off. Don't hesitate to ring us up. I'm Dr. Berner, by the way. You can request for me anytime."

_Yess!_

The physician warmly smiles, but Eren can see the hint of worry in his eyes. But what can he do? It's either him or his father, and he'll always choose the latter.

_Because that's what mom would have wanted...to protect the man she loves the most._

_"_ Alright, then it's settled. You're finally coming home, son."

_Sadly._

The doctor leaves and the nurses busy themselves removing the IV. Just as he predicted, they merely glanced at his scars without uttering a word. He eventually got changed and followed his father to the front desk.

"What do you mean everything's paid for?"

"Yes, I'm happy to inform you, another gentleman has covered all of Eren's medical expenses. You don't owe us anything."

"Can I have a description of this man or his contact information?"

"Sorry, but he strictly informed us not to disclose anything."

_What? It can't possibly be any of my relatives. They haven't contacted me in years, after mom's passing. Dad forcefully cut all ties. Come to think of it...who the heck brought me here? I know it wasn't, dad. He seemed too surprised to see me. Was it the man who paid the bills? Nothing's making any sense._

A woman with short brown hair and glasses bumps past him. He feels her hands plunge into his pockets.

_I don't have my wallet or phone on me. They returned my stuff to dad. What could she have possibly..._

He digs into the pocket and feels a wrinkled piece of paper. Pulling it out, he looks up to see if his father is paying attention. The man's focus is elsewhere, so he decides to unfold it and see's a small message scribbled in pen.

_If you really wanna know what happened, I suggest you go to the following address around noon. You'll see a man there. He's responsible for saving you. Look for someone short wearing a grumpy expression._

He searches the location on Google, nearly doubling over in shock.

_Isn't this where Armin workes?_

_Does she know him?_

Curiosity gets the best of him, and he snaps a pic of the paper, crumbling it into the garbage.

_\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

The drive home was absolutely terrifying. His father didn't utter a single word the entire time, and Eren clutched tightly onto the seatbelt. He was too afraid Grisha would lash out at any moment, crashing the vehicle directly into a tree. Luckily, he managed to return home in one piece. But he can't escape the eerie notion, something is wrong. His father went straight into the kitchen, completely ignoring the brunette's presence.

Eren trudges into his room before removing his clothes and deciding to shower. He isn't much of a clean freak, but having been bedridden in the hospital, he feels dirty. He glances at himself in the mirror and immediately cringes in disgust. Cigarette burns are dispersed below his collar bone, bruises litter around the ribcages, and remnants of shattered glass carve into his skin.

_I'm so ugly..._

His younger self would have definitely broken down at the sight. However, he's grown accustomed to the ill view. It's not as if he's expecting anyone to love him, so there's no point in having a beautiful body. When he was little, he always practiced self-care. Sometimes his mom would join, and they would be in the kitchen, slathered in a muddy mess from making D.I.Y. face masks. She would always complain about how the brunette would spend hours in the shower or take centuries to dress. He would come waddling out butt naked, covered in baby oil from head to toe, or would emerge from his bedroom dressed in a mini tennis skirt and crop top. He recalls the glares his father would send, but none of it mattered because Carla would always be fist-pumping the air, cheering him on.

_How ironic._

Never in a million years would Eren have thought he would stop his skincare routine or no longer dress all girly and beautiful. It seemed utterly comical. But now, peering into the bathroom mirror, the idea's no longer farfetched. He traces a scratch extending from between his breast to a few inches from his collarbone.

_Who'll ever love a freak like me? They'd probably hurl from the sight._

Closing his eyes, he tries to erase all the childish fantasies. He used to dream of handsome prince charmings proposing to him, swearing to love him until death. If Eren had a chance, he knows he would cherish the person above all else. Always tending to their every need and answering every beck and call. He could only imagine cradling them to sleep, peppering warm kisses to their forehead, whispering sweet nothings into their ear. Or even slow dancing into the night and falling into each other's warm embrace before making love unto the morning.

Accepting his cruel fate, he trudges into the shower before turning on the warm water. He chooses to twist the knob the whole way, only slightly shifting the colder one. The boiling temperature serves as a distraction from his thoughts. He thoroughly cleans his body before drying and heading into his room. He glances at the bottle of lotion, debating whether he should lather some on or not.

_There's no use. My skin's already damaged. Making it smoother won't remove the scarring._

Ignoring it, he rummages his wardrobe for a pair of oversized black basketball shorts. Usually, he would never wear any clothing that leaves his skin bare. All of his cuts would be visible for the world to see, and he doesn't want anyone else calling him a suicidal maniac. He and his father are enough. Being in his own home, he doesn't have to worry about strangers' prying eyes, so he also chooses not to wear a shirt. Throwing on the shorts, he immediately jumps into bed. The cool covers help moderate his body's temperature, and he feels a sense of calm. It's not as comfy compared to the hospital sheets though.

_Come to think of it. As we were passing by the other rooms, none of them were like mine. They all resembled the one's I used to be in. So, why was mine different? Was it a V.I.P. room of some sort? No way. Only fancy, rich, and famous people would be able to afford that luxury._

Sighing, he turns to his side, curling into a ball.

_I wonder why dad's ignoring me. I expected him to be angry. Back at the hospital, he sounded so genuine. For a second, I actually believed he cared about me. I haven't heard him say 'I love you' in for so long. But it was all just an act._

Part of him was frightened, hearing his father's voice outside the room. But the other half couldn't help remain hopeful and believe his father genuinely was worried.

_Maybe he's just too tired to be angry. Whatever, I'm not complaining._

He crawls underneath the covers, wrapping himself like a burrito.

_Maybe I should've worn sweatpants._

The odd sensation of the fabric gliding across his bare legs is uncomfortable.

_Besides, if dad were to suddenly burst in and decide to kill me, I won't have anything to protect myself with._

During the beatings, the clothes he wore would act as a barrier. The pain would be more bearable because the abuse isn't being directly inflicted on his skin. But with no shirt on and shorts, he's basically asking for the torture. Laying for a few minutes, he continues to debate whether he should change or not.

_Either way, it'll still be painful, and dragging my ass up sounds bothersome._

He decides against it and continues to huddle into the sheets.

_I still can't remember what happened, though. Judging from what the doctor said, it may have been triggered by an episode. But I could have sworn I took my meds before I left...or did I? Fuck! I don't know anymore. But who saved me? Whoever it was, was better of leaving me dead. I bet if they knew the kind of person I really am, they would regret their decision._

The thought saddens him, but he doesn't cry. He's reached that point in his life where not even tears can drown the pain. It's just going to settle in his heart, slowly growing heavier and heavier, until his body gives out.

_At least I'm not a murderer, and no one was harmed during the incident._

_And..._

_And dad's not throwing a fit._

Or so he thought when he heard a loud bang.

"Errrrenn, oopeen the dooor. OPEN THE DOOR BOY!"

His father's words were slurred, indicating that the man's probably drunk.

_Guess I wished too soon. He must have wanted to drink booze before beating me to death. Maybe he tried to drown his conscience, so he would feel less guilty murdering his son. I mean, who would wanna do it sober? You would probably remember every gruesome detail._

"You faaag, are you ignoring me? I said, let me in! Otherwise, I'll kick this bloody thing down."

The door wasn't locked, but Grisha's probably too drunk to realize. It's almost ironic how he's literally welcoming the pain. By opening the door, he's inviting his father inside, just so he could hurt him.

_Fuck my life. But, might as well as get it over with. There's no delaying the inevitable._

Unwrapping himself from the safe confines of his mini burrito, he nervously opens the door. The repugnant stench of alcohol wafts through the air, and he nearly pukes.

"That's what I thought. I knewww you'd be too much of a pussy to ignore me."

Eren glances at his curled toes, shaking like a prey under a predator's watch.

"Look at me, maggot."

Strong hands forcefully yank his chin up, and he stares right into drunken brown orbs. The nails dig into his flesh, making him wince in pain.

"I don't know how ya landed your sorry ass in the hospital, but I could care less. You almost managed to get me arrested. What if they saw those scars of yours? They would blame me. I know what I'm doing is right. Merely punishing a fag like you for your crimes. But they won't understand. Was that your plan from the beginning? To expose me? I thought I warned you to never scheme against me? Guess you didn't understand the first time. Maybe you need to be taught a lesson again? Hmm?"

Grisha roughly pushes him onto the floor before shoving his foot inside his mouth. Eren's jaw nearly breaks from the sudden intrusion.

"You already born fucking deaf. Why don't I just make you mute as well? Smash that mouth into pieces, so you could never spew filth again?"

Eren's pleas are muffled, and his fingers latch onto his father's foot, attempting to remove it. But he's far too weak, and his actions only spur the man on, and he pushes in further. Pulling free, he uses his heel to kick his face to the side. The impact manages to make Eren's left hearing aid fall out. A loud ringing resonates in one ear, while the other detects the man's harsh words.

"MAGGOT! MAGGOT! MAGGOT! YOU FUCKING MAGGOT!"

He slams into his face, and Eren hears a small crack. His nose is probably broken. He repeatedly rams down, and the familiar taste of blood fills the brunette's tastebuds.

_Please. Please hurry up and finish. I don't know how much longer I can last._

The final kick to his cheek sends his remaining hearing aid flying out. Grisha sees it and stomps on it before finding the other one and doing the same. He spits on his face, yelling a few words the brunette can't comprehend. Although his eyes are practically swollen shut, he can see his father leave the room.

_Finally, it's over. But my I.T.E hearing aids...what am I gonna do?_

Pushing himself, he scrambles onto the bed.

_I don't have an extra pair. But I can still sign, so I'll be fine...I just won't be able to hear anything._

Panting, he winces from the pain. At least now, he won't have to anticipate when his dad would appear. That clears his final checklist of worries.

_I wanna sleep...so bad._

Feeling drowsy, he almost enters into slumber when a familiar screech startles him awake.

_No! Not right now._

The room's slowly spinning, and he quickly manages to sit up, ignoring the aches. He scrambles to his feet, swaying back and forth, as he rushes to the bathroom. Turning the corner, he sees a familiar creature he recognized from the hallucination a few mornings ago. He sees it's same disgusting teeth, hollow cheeks, and frighteningly broad structure.

_Calm down, Eren. It's all in your head. It's not real. It's not real. You're just having an episode._

He sprints into the bathroom, slamming the door behind him and rummaging the cabinets.

_Where are the pills? WHERE ARE THE FUCKING PILLS?_

He hears the creature screech again, and the blood drains from his face.

_Fuck fuck fuck._

Spotting the bottle labeled _Olanzapine_ , he quickly twists it open before swallowing two tablets.

_It's in my head. It's in my head. None of it's real._

The noises have all but disappeared.

_It's over...fuck Schizophrenia..._

Slumping to the bathroom floor, he passes out on the tiled floors.


	7. Thinking Bout You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IT'S HERE! IT'S FINALLY HERE! AHHHH! Sorry if it took so long to update, my uni classes start next week so I've been prepping for them. Anyway, Levi's and Eren's relationship is slowly starting to get somewhere! And there might be some possible smut coming the next few chapterssss (oh yessss the spicy shttttuuufffff LMAO) anyway, hope y'all enjoy!!!

A million questions are running through Levi's head. He's unsure how to approach the situation, which is a rare occurrence. Usually, the raven manages to deduce solutions to complex problems reasonably fast. However, as of now, he's struggling to push past the initial stages of shock. He still can't believe the brunette's here, standing a few feet away. Eren's nervously fiddling with the ends of his sweatshirt, eyes darting right and left. Levi isn't sure whether his quietness is frightening the teen or if he's too shy to look him in the face.

"Oi coconut, fetch me a pen and paper."

Armin hasn't intervened or spoken a single word after Eren gave the note. The blonde's probably just as confused.

"H-h-huh? Oh! Yeah, sure, give me a second!"

He dashes into the storage room and rummages around. Meanwhile, Levi decides to make the opening move. The awkward silence is beginning to irritate him, and he's growing concerned about Eren's condition.

_It hasn't even been a day since the incident, and Moblit discharged him? What the fuck was he thinking?_

Walking over, he laces his fingers with Eren's and pulls him towards an empty table in the far corner of the cafe. The teen doesn't protest, letting himself be dragged. Levi strongly dislikes any form of intimacy because it increases the risk of contracting germs and bacteria. But the brunette's an exception. He'd throw everything aside to close the distance and draw their bodies together.

He feels Eren's quickening pulse thrumming against his fingertips, assuring him he's alive and well. But compared to his large calloused hands, the brunette's are much smaller and softer. He begins to worry, afraid he's grasping too hard. Years in the military have distorted the raven's concept of strength, and he sometimes finds himself breaking teacups or other glassware involuntarily. The last thing Levi wants is to shatter his lover's bones. He loosens his grip but immediately feels the brunette's hold tighten, locking their hands together. Peeking at him from the corner of his eyes, he sees a bright flush painting Eren's features. It takes an enormous amount of self-control not to pin him against the wall and ravish him bare.

Much to his displeasure, Levi has to tear away, pulling out the chair for Eren. He sits directly across and impatiently waits for Armin's return.

_The fuck is he doing? Taking a shit or something?_

Eren's twidling with his fingers, still refusing to look him in the eyes. He misses gazing into those ocean orbs and losing himself. When's the last time he's fallen so hard? That's right, never. But he's confident the teen will be his last, and Levi's no longer scared to admit it. Even if he were to scour the ends of the Earth, no one would be as perfect.

_I wonder if he knows how beautiful he is or how effortlessly he melts my heart._

He imagines the laughing stock he would be amongst his old comrades and soldiers—General Levi Ackerman, infamous for his cold heart and stoic expression. Presently chasing after some teenager, all love·y-dove·y. He'd probably break their necks and discard their bodies in the wilderness. Maybe, a family of bloodthirsty beasts will enjoy a good dinner.

He wishes Armin would hurry the fuck up because he has to leave for work in less than an hour. As much as he would love wasting time with Eren, he really can't afford to. Suppose Levi manages to capture the brunette's heart. In that case, the raven wants to provide him with a secure and luxurious lifestyle. He's already loaded, but to maintain his wealth, he needs to continue earning money. But with Armin taking his sweet ass time, the raven won't be. Levi's patience is withering away, and before he could yell a string of curses, the blonde emerges from the room.

_Shitting finally, and here I thought I would need to drag his ass out._

He jogs over to the table with a grin on his face, waving a notepad and pen in the air. Placing the items on the table, he grabs a chair from nearby. Levi immediately jabs his foot on the leg and pushes the chair away.

"I don't think so, coconut. This is between him and me."

A sad expression washes over the blonde's features, and he glances towards Eren. The brunette gives him a weary smile, signing something. Armin nods in understanding.

_So coconut's familiar with sign language. But how are they acquainted? Childhood friends?_

_"_ Alright, I'll leave you two alone! But in case you need anything, don't hesitate to call me over!"

_What a ray of sunshine. No wonder eyebrows finds you attractive. Compared to his depressing life, you're just a walking bundle of happiness._

Armin heads back to the register, leaving just him and Eren.

_First and of utmost importance is his health._

Levi would have drawn a judgment based on his appearance, but it isn't easy when the brunette chose to wear a sweatshirt and sweatpants.

_Why's he so bundled up? I get its fall, but it's not that cold._

Not a single patch of skin is visible, except on his hands, neck, and face. Thankfully, there aren't any apparent signs of injury. The only other option is to question Eren directly. The chances of him telling the truth are slim, but he might as well shoot his shot. Clearing his throat, he grabs the notepad and pen. The new manner of communication is odd, but Levi recognizes there's no other way around. If he wants to speak to the brunette, he'll have to grow accustomed to different methods.

_I want to get closer to you, and I'll do anything and sacrifice everything if need be._

**Levi** : How you've been, brat?

The raven doesn't want to ask outright. It'll make him appear suspicious, and as of now, Eren doesn't know he's responsible for admitting him to the hospital. He slides the note across. The brunette reads it and immediately begins writing a reply. He passes it back, peeking up at Levi through long lashes.

 **Eren** : I've been good. How about you?

He receives a generic response as expected.

Guess _I'll have no choice but to ring up Moblit myself. He won't violate H.I.P.P.A. regulations, but the least he'll do is give a brief description._

Gunmetal orbs meet beautiful teal, and a small squeak escapes Eren's lips. The teen was caught staring and shyly looks away.

_Fucking adorable._

Levi imagines the other assortment of sounds he can entice from those puckering pink lips, especially when they're tangled, panting mess under the sheets.

_No, now's not the time._

He's better of leaving the lewd fantasies for when he's alone and can **handle** the consequences.

 **Levi** : Life's been a boring pile of shit as usual. I've got a couple of questions, though, if you don't mind me asking.

Eren giggles softly, reading his response, and the reaction catches Levi off guard. Most people find his toilet jokes weirdly disturbing, except Hange. But the crackhead's sense of humor's broken, so it's expected.

 **Eren:** Yeah, I had a feeling. It's alright, ask away.

Phew, and here he thought he intimidated the teen. Times ticking by fast, so he decides to address the elephant in the room.

 **Levi** : So why the fuck are you signing instead of speaking?

He sees Eren momentarily hesitate before writing down his response.

 **Eren** : I'm actually born deaf. When we met at the park, I had I.T.E (in the ear hearing aids), so they weren't visible.

 **Levi** : So, you're not wearing them now?

Levi could've sworn he saw a hint of fear flash across those ocean eyes. Eren was like a soldier when they see a bullet whizzing in their direction. The raven recognizes it all too well.

 **Eren** : I'm trying to practice my sign language. So I left them at home.

Levi can call bullshit from a mile away. However, he doesn't want to tread on sensitive territory. If Eren's unwilling to share, he'll have to wait until he's ready.

 **Levi** : But how were you able to speak and sing so clearly? I had no trouble understanding you.

 **Eren** : I used to have a deaf accent when I was little. But, with practice, I was able to grow out of it.

That managed to clear most of Levi's queries. However, the subject of why he jumped into ongoing traffic remains in the dust. He can't mention the matter without speaking of his involvement, and the raven knows the brunette would feel indebted. He wants their relationship to begin on a fresh slate, where neither feels obliged to treat each other kindly. Maybe, once they grow close, he'll reveal the truth to Eren. Another note slides across the table.

 **Eren** : I already said it before, but thanks a bunch for yesterday.

 **Levi** : No problem, brat. I'm glad my cheesy, crappy words made you feel better.

 **Eren** : Huh? You also spoke to me?

 **Levi** : Yeah, during that night in the park. You might have the date mixed up, but it was the day before yesterday.

 **Eren:** No, I'm not talking about that. I'm referring to the accident—the one you saved me from.

And the cat's out of the bag—Levi's about to blow a fuse. He has a good feeling Hange's responsible, and he's ready to hang her. She probably ran to the hospital after Moblit called. Even after the raven warned her, she goes and -

_Fuck I never told her to stay away from the brat._

She read between the lines and took the opportunity to approach Eren.

_Fucking four eyes, she has more brains than necessary._

**Eren** : Are you alright?

_Fuck. Guess I can't avoid it._

**Levi** : Yeah, sorry, it was a mistake on my part. About yesterday, no problem. But what were you doing?

The topics no longer swept under the rug, so Levi decides to be blunt and upfront.

 **Eren** : I was running late for the bus. I have classes at university in the evening, but accidentally slept in. I sprinted outside in a rush and didn't notice the ongoing traffic.

More bullshit, Levi can tell. No sane person would aimlessly jump into the streets, regardless of how dazed they are. The car horns would snap them back to reality. However, he doesn't pry any further. There must be a reason for the brunette's secrecy, and Levi respects his privacy.

 **Eren** : I'm sorry for troubling you. You saved my life, and I owe you big time. Is there any way I can repay you?

The raven knows Eren won't take 'no' for an answer, leaving him with no other option but to request something. He kept convincing himself to stay a considerable distance. His life's a mess, and he's still running from the past. But Levi's never felt this way for anyone. The universe is finally dealing him with a good deck of cards, and he'd be an idiot not to accept.

_You could be my boyfriend._

That's the single outrageous idea running through his mind. Sadly, it's far too early in the game, and he wants to court the brunette properly. When Levi consumes Eren's thoughts, he'll pounce—effortlessly trapping him beneath and taking his sweet time exploring every inch of the teen's body. There's not a single place he'll leave unmarked or untouched. Levi can't wait to feel Eren fall apart, making rough, passionate love. He'll be walking like a newborn fawn once the raven's finished.

Glancing at his watch, he realizes time's up. Traffic can be a hassle, and Levi intends to avoid it if possible. Leaving the brunette isn't the course of action he wants to take. The raven would rather haul him back to his condo and cuddle him under the sheets—where the two can rub skin to skin.

 **Levi** : Sorry to burst your bubble, but I can't think of anything right now. I got to leave for work, but here's my number, 646-8XX-XXX7.

Eren's face lights up. He looks like a kid opening presents on Christmas morning.

_Fuck, can he get any cuter? Brat's going to give me heartache._

**Eren** : No, it's okay! I'll contact you later. Hopefully, you'll have thought of something.

 **Levi** : Hold up. Don't abuse your texting or calling privileges. I'm busy from 8-8, so don't bother me during those hours. Otherwise, I won't hesitate to block you.

_Was that a bit mean?_

It as if he's walking on eggshells. The raven's aware his attitude and speech aren't the most eloquent. The possible worst scenario he wants to avoid is scaring Eren off.

 **Eren** : No, I completely understand! I won't disturb you until you're finished!

 **Levi** : Good, I'm leaving then. Take care, kid.

The raven gets up and fishes his pockets for the keys. Eren remains seated, probably waiting for Armin. Levi grabs his coffee off the table and grimaces.

_Shit's gone cold._

He dumps the beverage into the garbage before bidding farewell to the coconut. Entering the parking lot, he watches Eren waving, mouthing a silent goodbye through the glass window.

"Bye, brat."

_I'll be thinking about you._   
_\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

He groans, leaning back against his office chair. Paperwork after paperwork, the pile is neverending. He can't wait to retire and no longer suffer from chronic migraines.

"Leviii!"

"No."

And now another headache is prancing into his office. Can the world cut him some slack?

"Awww, but I haven't said anything yet."

Hange takes a seat on the black leather sofa by the raven's desk. She has some nerve coming to see him after the stunt she pulled. If murder weren't illegal, he would've thrown her out the window.

"Sooo, I have a little surprise for you!"

"You and your idiocy can pack a suitcase to Cuba."

"Don't be so grumpy! Trust me! You're going to love it!"

From previous incidents, Levi can picture the disaster about to unfold. The brunette once planned a surprise party for him, and he'll never forget the trauma he experienced. She ordered a bunch of bunny girls from a random club in Las Vegas. He remembers them holding a sign reading "Happy Birthday Levi!" in front of the company's entrance. What's worse? They began rubbing their asses and breasts on his arms, crotch, chest—whatever they could touch. Levi showered in bleach the whole week, trying to remove all the filth. He spent precisely four months recovering and refused to speak to Hange the entire time.

"Never, unless I'm high as fuck or drunk. Now get your ugly ass out of my office before I drag you out."

"Oh, come on! You never know! Besides..."

Levi looks up, curious. She has a wide grin plastered on her face.

_This can't be good._

"It involves a certain green-eyed cutie."

_No. Absolutely not. She better not rope Eren into her weird shenanigans._

The teen's endured enough and doesn't need the additional stress. All he wishes is for Eren to continue smiling without a care in the world. He looks so beautiful when his eyes twinkle—shimmering with happiness like a thousand jewels. Levi will never tire from the sight, and he'll do everything in his power to protect the innocence.

"Stay the fuck away from him."

She giggles, fueling his temper.

"Aww, look at you getting all protective and obsessive."

He won't even deny her accusations. Levi's sinking further and further into those ocean orbs. But, he doesn't want to be rescued. The raven wants to keep drowning until he's reached the deepest, darkest depths. He won't run or cower in fear. Instead, he'll take time exploring—appreciating everything Eren has to offer.

"Don't make me fucking ring up the nearest funeral home."

"Alright, alright. Calm yourself, shortie."

A pair of scissors grazes her cheek, stabbing the wall.

"Next time, I won't miss."

Hange remains unfazed. Instead, she crosses her arms and pouts. She's grown accustomed to the raven's murderous schemes.

"Hmph. And here I went out of my way to do something nice. I bet when you hear what I have to say, you're gonna regret being such a mean bean."

She raises her head with pride, acting as if she's achieved something remarkable.

"Stop fucking beating around the bush. Just tell me whatever it is you want to, and leave."

There are mountains of paperwork left to sort. At this rate, Levi will have to work overtime.

"Alright, alright. So, basically..."

"Basically?"

"I invited the kid you rescued for lunch today!"

She clasps her hands, grinning from ear to ear.

"Sorry to wreck your party, but I already saw him this morning."

A loud squeal reverberates through the room, making Levi flinch.

"YOU GUYS ALREADY MET? I TOLD HIM TO COME TO THE CAFE IN THE AFTERNOON, NOT MORNING! AND HERE I WAS EXITED TO REUNITE YOU GUYS! WAIT, I THOUGHT YOU HATED THE PLACE. WHAT THE HECK WERE YOU DOING THERE?"

"Can you fucking quiet down!"

She might as well announce his business to the whole office.

"Oop- Sorry about that."

"God, why are you like this?"

"Because I'm Hange, and Hange is cookoo."

"..."

"What? You asked."

"Just shut up."

There's no controlling her crackhead behavior. It's like taming a wild animal.

"Sooo...you gonna spill the tea?"

"No, I'm not interested in wasting my drink."

"Oh, come on. You know what I meant."

The raven remains silent. The majority of his discussion with Eren revolved around the teen's life. He doesn't want to trample on his privacy and share every aspect. Levi feels honored he bothered to open up. Whatever information Eren relayed to him, Levi plans to keep hidden. He doesn't want to break his lover's trust.

"Leviiii!"

"No, Hange."

"But whyyyyy? I thought we're best friendsss."

Why is she so persistent? He just wants to drop the subject and move on.

"I respect his privacy. That's fucking why."

"Awww, okie."

She can be a bit of an airhead, but she knows when not to cross the line. He really is thankful for her efforts, but he can't bear to hurt Eren. They're both valuable to him. However, unlike Hange, Eren seems as if he doesn't have anyone to rely on. Levi wants to be his pillar of strength like Moblit is for her. He's going to have to prioritize the teen's needs over everyone else.

"Stop looking like a kicked puppy. I'll buy you those diabetic poisoned shit you always stuff yourself with."

Her face immediately lights up.

"Wait, really? You're gonna buy me BonBon's?"

_The fuck kind of retarded name is that._

"Yes."

"Alright then! You better not be lying!"

"Yeah, yeah. Now get out before I change my mind."

She quickly skips away with a huge smile. Sometimes Levi forgets how naive she is. It's like giving candy to a child. Buy her favorite sugary concoctions, and she'll do anything you ask of her.

Sighing, he dives back into work. He needs to stay focused. Otherwise, he won't be able to leave on time. In case the brunette texts exactly after 8, he wants to respond immediately.

_I wonder what he's doing? Probably hanging out with the coconut._

He still hasn't thought of anything to ask. Levi's afraid to test the waters. He doesn't want to request anything that'll make the teen uncomfortable.

_Maybe dinner?_

_..._

_No, no. That'll make me seem desperate._

_Or will it?_

_Isn't it normal to ask someone out for a meal?_

_God, why is this so complicated._

A polite knock snaps him out of thought.

_Who the fuck is it now?_

"Levi, I read over your documentations. Excellent work as usual."

_Oh, it's just eyebrows. Speaking of eyebrows..._

Levi's completely kept him in the dark. Hange is at least aware of the incident, even if unintentionally. He'll ultimately find out, either through Armin or the crackhead. He knows Erwin will be upset for keeping the whole incident a secret from him. Levi might as well come clean and avoid any unnecessary emotional damage.

"Erwin. I have an important matter to discuss with you."

He places the stack of the papers on Levi's desk, quirking his eyebrows in question.

"It must be something serious, considering you addressed me by my name."

"Depends on how you see it. But the matter involves someone your coconut angel is friends with."

"You mean Armin?"

"Yes, who else?"

"Will you ever stop referring to him as a type of food?"

"Stop demanding the impossible."

The raven watches him sigh, throwing down his defense.

"Alright. But, you have me intrigued."

"Stop by during lunch. Drag shitty four eyes with you too."

_Time to get this over with._

Levi feels like a heavy weight's been lifted off his shoulder. The guilt was suffocating, but now he has room to breathe.


	8. One Last Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh! This took forever to write, but this chapter just focuses on Eren’s POV of their meeting at the cafe! And some warm friendship between him and Armin!! Hope u enjoy!! Hopefully, I can get the next chapter in soon. It might or might not include some ‘nasty nasty’ 😏 LMAO! Anyway, give me some feedback! Luv y’all!

Eren wakes up, feeling the cold tiled floor beneath his body. He rubs his eyes and winces in pain.

_Oh right. Dad gave me a bruised eye._

Grabbing hold of the towel railing, he slowly pushes himself up. Situations like this are relatively common for the brunette, and he's grown accustomed to them. When he was little, Carla would find him panicking in the kitchen or laundry room. She would remain calm and try talking sense into him. He would occasionally hear her, recognizing everything he's experiencing is a mere illusion. But, with his mother dead, dealing with the attacks is more challenging. There isn't anyone to shake him back to reality, and he's become heavily dependent on medication. His psychiatrist prescribed him Seroquel and Olanzapine. Both act as antipsychotics, helping to decrease hallucinations. However, the side effects can be extreme, and he often immediately falls asleep from the drowsiness.

Peering at himself in the mirror, Eren examines the damage done to his face. His lips are split, but a small scab has begun to form over the wound. The cut must have happened when the rough, dirty soles of Grisha's shoe scraped against the surface of his mouth. His right eye is also swelling, and his nose is slightly crooked.

_Probably broken, from how hard he smashed it._

Aside from his horrendous appearance, the minor issue at hand is the destruction of his I.T.E hearing aids. When he was little, he had trouble learning sign language, but he managed to grasp it overtime. So, it's not going to be a severe problem. However, he won't be able to speak. Eren has trouble forming words without directly hearing himself. Unless he has hearing aids, he can't afford to talk without every sentence sounding like absolute rubbish.

_What am I going to tell everyone?_

The gang will undoubtedly grill him with questions. Communication won't be an issue because Armin and Mikasa are fluent and can act as translators. But what excuse can he give?

 _I'll just tell them I'm perfecting my signing skills_.

Everyone will most likely buy the fib. The only defenses hard to break are Mikasa's and Armin's. They've been childhood friends since they were five. Both know Eren well enough and can easily detect when he's dishonest. Mikasa always looks for physical affirmations because she's picked up a small habit of his. Eren becomes like Pinocchio whenever he's lying. Instead of his nose growing, his ears turn bright red. In most situations, he can control his body's response, and in others, he can't. Armin examines his behavioral patterns and reactions. The blonde's a human lie detector, easily capable of sensing when something is off. Suppose he notices a slight change in the tone of Eren's speech. In that case, he'll immediately pull the brunette aside to address the issue.

They're also aware of Grisha's abusive behavior and have filed a report to the police repeatedly. The only reason his father hasn't been thrown behind bars is that Eren continues to deny the allegations. Armin's slowly lowering his defense, understanding the brunette must have his reasons. However, he isn't afraid to take action if Eren admits the truth. Mikasa's the only problematic case, and she won't stand for the dismissals. She's always been overprotective of him. The raven-haired girl's childhood wasn't the most heavenly, and she believes Eren to be her angel in disguise. He was her biggest support mechanism, always drawing her out of the depressing hole she crawled into. Mikasa feels indebted to the brunette and is constantly on his back regarding every small inconvenience in his life. He'll really need to come up with a brilliant excuse if he wants to push past them. 

Leaving the bathroom, he scans the hall for any signs of his father. Silence echoes back, and he assumes Grisha is either sleeping or left for work. He's thrilled, realizing he has free access to the kitchen. Whenever his father is around, he nags Eren on his eating habits and focuses on shortening his meal portions. The brunette doesn't consume much food, usually munching on cereal without milk or gram crackers. Yet his father ferociously knocks over his bowl in anger and blames the teen for living off him like a parasite. But aren't parents given the responsibility of providing a roof over their children's heads, nourishing them to health? So why are they making them appear a burden? If they can't express how much they love you, why bother bringing you into the world? Eren finds the whole idea outrageously selfish and cruel. Society is already a hellish place to grow accustomed to. Tossing oil in the fire and burning their innocent lives already consumed in flames is pure, unadulterated evil.

Quietly rummaging around the room, he searches for anything to hush the obnoxious rumbling. His stomach sounds like a whale's mating call, and he's convinced it's loud enough to catch Grisha's attention (if he's presently home.) The cabinets are empty, except for the bottles of booze lining the shelves. He has half the will to shatter them against the floor and watch the fragments of glass scatter. The satisfaction of breaking the object accountable for his suffering fills him with joy. But he's aware of the consequences and doesn't have the heart to deal with them. He's still healing, always has been. Some days he can afford to turn a blind eye to his pain. Other times, the emotion becomes overwhelming, and he aches for a break.

Opening the fridge, he finds the contents empty. He can't recall when Grisha last went grocery shopping. Probably a year before Carla's passing. With the only person he acknowledged as family dead, his father doesn't find the need to waste money on food or cook. Why bother when the only mouth he has to feed is his own? The man can quickly fill the hole in his stomach and heart with alcohol. He's killing two birds with one stone! Meanwhile, Eren's like a ghost. And ghosts don't need to be fed or treated as if they're humans—alive and breathing.

_Maybe I should visit Armin. I haven't responded to any of his messages or phone calls since the incident. He's probably worried and stressed from all of Mikasa's questioning. I've been ignoring her too. Plus, I don't have cash with me to buy me food. If I help him for few hours at the cafe, maybe he'll let me have breakfast or lunch free._

Leaving the kitchen, Eren heads to his bedroom. He opens the curtains and peers out the window for his father's car. The driveway is empty. 

_Thank God! He left for work!_

He shakes his hips, doing a mini celebratory dance. He didn't want to risk sneaking out, especially after yesterday's warning. Otherwise, the only option would be to stay home, and he missed Armin. The blonde's like a ray of sunshine, shedding light onto Eren's dark and cloudy life. Stripping naked, he decides to bathe. He can't meet up with him in his current disheveled state. It'll raise suspicion. The fresh wounds also need to be cleaned and disinfected. He goes back into the bathroom, hopping into the shower. 

_This is going to sting like bitch._

Tearing off his clothes was already challenging. The fabric stuck onto his skin from the dry blood. He had to tug at his shirt and shorts forcefully, further ripping open flesh. The next struggle will be washing the gooey red patches of bleeding skin. Shutting his eyes, he turns the dial to medium-hot water. 

_Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!_

The warm liquid seeps over Eren's body, and he holds back the screams. He's too scared of being loud. His father would beat him to a pulp for causing any unruly sounds. Even with Grisha, not present, the fear of being punished is embedded deeply within his mind. He squeezes his palms tightly, and his knuckles turn white. Heaving in sharp breathes of air, Eren courageously opens his eyes. He stares down at the shower floor, watching the sea of blood flow into the drain. 

He remains motionless for a few minutes before bravely reaching out and grabbing the soap bar. He lathers some on his hands, gliding the suds across the expanse of his body. The familiar taste of iron fills his mouth from chewing harshly on his gums. The pain is excruciating. 

_Just keep breathing, and breathing, and breathing._

His mom's words echo in his mind, and he repeats them like a mantra. After thoroughly cleaning the wounds, he applies shampoo and conditioner. Rinsing off the products, he shuts off the water, drying himself with a towel. 

_Maybe I should apply some baby oil._

Eren doesn't want to appear as some crusty dry raisin, causing Armin to raise an eyebrow in question. He'd know something's off if the brunette carries himself like a straight man.

_In case we shake hands, my skin has to be soft. I'm also going to need some heavy ass foundation and concealer to hide the bruising and swelling._

Grabbing the shea baby oil, he lathers it on his semi damp skin. The greasy residue makes him squirm in discomfort. How'd be manage to do this routinely? After coating his body with the moisturizer, he pulls on a bathrobe and moves on to brush his teeth. He's always had a pearly white smile. Back when he dated Jean, horse face would praise the brunette when they kissed or made out for having an addicting minty breath. 

The memory makes his heart clench. Jean and he would always bicker, and the two never guessed they would fall in love. But they did, and those days will be Eren's most valuable and precious treasures. The times they cuddled on the couch watching horror movies, while Eren kept punching him for making stupid commentaries every five seconds. Or when they shared their first kiss in the cramped space of the janitor's closet in high school. Jean would be the last of anyone to look at him with adoration and fondness like he's the very reason they breathe.

He brushes aside the thought, blinking away the tears. If he swirls into a whirlpool of depression, there's no escaping. He'll end up locking himself in his room and curl into sorrow. He needs to meet Armin and give the blonde a reasonable excuse. It'll be cruel of him to leave his best friend worrying sick. Mikasa also deserves a clear explanation of his sudden disappearance. After all they've done, the least he can do is give them peace of mind. 

Pulling out his makeup set, he dabs on the foundation. He pays extra attention to the bruising around his eyes and uses concealer to hide any discoloration. Examining the result in the mirror, he huffs in satisfaction. 

_Good enough. Now, what should I wear?_

He snorts, finding it amusing how he's acting as if he possesses anything remotely fashionable in the closet. There shouldn't be any room for deep thoughts, considering his entire wardrobe consists of oversized black clothing. That's probably the first warning sign his friends picked up on. Before breaking up with horse face, he and Annie noticed how his sense of style died down. They weren't aware of his father's assault but knew of his mother's passing. They brushed it off as a mourning phase and only became concerned when he didn't revert to normal. Eren swept their suspicions under the rug by explaining how he's developed a weird obsession with emo fashion. Armin and Mikasa (reluctantly) backed him up, understanding he didn't want to share his family issues. To this day, the rest of the gang don't know the exact reason, and Eren plans on keeping them in the dark. No one else needs to be aware of the abomination he's become. 

Pulling on a black pair of sweat pants and sweatshirt, he looks for his phone. He needs to make sure Grisha can't trace his footprints. Swiping open the device, he switches off his location settings and shoots Armin a text.

 **Eren** : Armiiiin! 

**Armin** :Eren?!? OMGG ur alive! 😭

 **Eren** : Yeshhh lmaooo, I ain’t dead 💀 

**Armin** : What the heck happened?   
  
**Eren** : Some stuff came up 👀 

**Armin** : What stuff?!? U gotta be more specific! Do you know how worried me and Mikasa were? The whole gang’s anxious!

 **Eren** : I know!! I’m sorry 😣. I promise to spill the tea sooon!   
  
**Armin** : You better!! 😤 

**Eren** : Btw, I’mma stop by the cafe in a few minutes to help around!   
**  
Armin** : Don’t think I’mma let you off the hook 😠

_Of course, he's upset. Why did I think he'd be chill?_

**Eren** : I knooow. I just missed you, and I’m hungry lol 😝 

**Armin** : ...

 **Armin** : Okie fine 🙄 I missed you 2! C u soon!   
**  
Eren** : Yup yup! 

_Okie phew, he's letting me help. Now I don't gotta worry about starving._

His dad won't return until late in the evening, granting him freedom for the remainder of the day. Stuffing his bus pass into the sweatshirt pocket, he heads downstairs and puts his white sneakers on. He grabs his "Beats" and taps open the phone to select his favorite playlist. 

_Shit! I don't have my hearing aids. I won't be able to listen to anything._

Frustration floods his emotions, making him nearly throw the device across the room. But he refrains from doing so, realizing no positive outcomes will result from his actions. He'll just be left with a broken phone. 

_Whatever. It's a short distance._

He swipes up, closing Spotify. His finger hovers over the screen for a few seconds, and he accidentally taps the icon for pictures. The album opens up, and a particular image catches his attention. It's the crumbled note the mysterious lady from yesterday shoved in his pocket. The incident completely slipped his mind, and he reread the message. 

_If you want to know what happened, I suggest you go to the following address around noon. You'll see a man there. He's responsible for saving you. Look for someone short wearing a grumpy expression._

The whole scenario screams "Stranger Danger!", but he can't avoid it. If he's going to be working there, he and the stranger are bound to cross paths.

_Hopefully, I'll bump into him so I can at least get some answers._

He looks at Carla's picture framed in the living room and bids her farewell.

_Bye, mom! I'll be back soon!_

Pulling open the front door, he immediately freezes.

_Wait, let me grab a notepad and pen in case._

He quickly runs to the kitchen, rummaging around until he finds the supplies. Stuffing them in his sweatshirt pocket, he waves a final goodbye to his mom and jogs out the front door.

————————————————————————------------------------------------------------------------------

Getting off the bus, Eren walks a short distance before landing his sights on Cafe Rose.

_Looks dead as usual. Why does Armin work here again? Oh right, his boyfriend's company's nearby._

He takes a few deep breathes before entering. The lecture he's about to receive will be a long, arduous one, and he's going to need a lot of willpower to listen until the end.

 _You got this! Just remain calm and relaxed._

He pushes open the doors and the cafe's bell chimes. He reads Armin's lip, recognizing him yelling his name. The blonde's handing a customer his coffee, and the brunette feels a sense of familiarity looking at the man's back profile.

_Where have I seen him before? He has a buzz cut and is short._

Said figure turns around, and Eren nearly doubles over. There's no way he'd forget those gunmetal orbs.

_Oh my fucking god, it's him! It's him! It's fucking him!_

The mysterious, handsome stranger from the park is standing right in front of him.

"U-u-um h-hi! Ish m-m-m-me."

_Good job dumbass, you sound like an actual idiot. Why, today of all days, do I not have my stupid hearing aids?!?_

The brunette begins signing, but his minds so frazzled with embarrassment he’s not sure what he’s doing.

_Oh wait. Why the fuck do I think he knows sign language? I’m really making my self out of be fucking clown right now. Someone, please end me._

The stranger stares in confusion and Eren's no longer focused on his own stupidity. Instead his brain’s slowly connecting the dots.

_Look for someone short wearing a grumpy expression._

_She said he'd appear during the afternoon, and it's only the morning...Could it be? No way. But he is small. He kind of has a grim expression, but it just makes him a thousand times hotter._

He can't help but believe the man is responsible for saving his life. It'll be like all the fairy tale stories he used to love reading where the knight in shining armor rescues the damsel in distress. If only Eren fell into eternal slumber, he'd feel the prince's lips on his own. 

_No. It's far too early to conclude. Let me write him a thank you note and see his reaction. Depending on his response, I'll know if he's the one._

Eren fumbles around his pockets, pulling out a pen and notepad. He quickly scribbles down his message and hands the paper to the stranger. 

He carefully scans the man's features but can't read anything. His expression remains stoic and cold. 

_Great. Now what?_

The man looks up, and Eren immediately shifts his gaze. He's far too embarrassed to look at someone so gorgeous. The brunette fumbles with the ends of his sweatshirt nervously. Before he could think of his next move, large hands lace through small fingers. The teen nearly collapses from happiness and shock.

 _Ahhhh, this has to be some feverish dream. Maybe I'm having an episode? Fuck, I don't ever wanna wake up._

Unlike Eren's, the stranger's hands feel rough and calloused. The teen imagines him doing muscle straining work, tough enough to build a sweat. 

_God, look at those biceps and thighs. I would gladly ride this man into the next life._

The raven loosens his grip, and Eren immediately clasps on tighter. 

_Shit! I didn't mean to do that. I just didn't want him letting go. Please don't notice!!_

The stranger remains unfazed, and Eren breathes a quiet sigh of relief. But the heavy blush painting his features won't disappear.

Eventually, the man releases his hold, pulling out a chair for Eren, and sits across from him. The brunette can feel gunmetal orbs reading his every move. The brunette's still refusing to meet his unnerving gaze. 

Armin jogs over and places a pen and paper on their table. He grabs a chair to sit next to Eren, but the raven immediately scowls. The bone-chilling glare sends shivers down Eren's spine, and he applauds Armin for keeping his reserve. If the look were directed towards him, his legs would have given out. 

The raven fiercely pushes the blonde's chair away, and Armin glances at Eren with pleading eyes. The teen feels terrible but signs his best friend an apology. 

**Eren** : Sorry. Could you leave us alone for a bit? I promise to catch you up on everything later.

Armin nods in understanding and turns to say something to the man before jogging back to the register. It's just him and the handsome stranger. Eren can feel the butterflies fluttering around his stomach, and he squirms in the chair. A small note slides across the table, momentarily quelling his nerves.

 **Levi** : How you've been, brat?

_So he doesn't know of the accident? Or is he avoiding the topic? At least he's kind of to ask how I've been._

Eren writes down his response and passes the reply back. They exchange notes like that for a couple of minutes, and Eren answers any questions he had. He lied about any directed towards his missing hearing aids but told the truth concerning his deafness. Thankfully, the man didn't seem to be turned off by his disability. Even if he was, Eren couldn't tell. The man is far too difficult to read. Realizing they keep beating around the bush, the brunette decides to readdress the matter. 

_Let me try one more time._

He doesn't want to lose hope. As stupid as he appears, Eren can't help dreaming of the impossible. He still isn't sure what to make of his emotions, but all he desires is for the man to draw him into his arms. Eren wants to lay on his chest and feel the gentle rhythm of his heart. He envisions waking up in the morning, exchanging sloppy kisses with him, and cooking breakfast together.

The man's writing his response, and Eren snaps back to reality.

_This is it. This will determine if we're fated for each other._

He slides his response across, and Eren feels his stomach flip inside out. But when he reads the note, confusion hits him like a truck. The raven backtracked to their initial meeting in the park.

_So it's not him? No, I don't wanna give up yet. One last time!_

He corrects the man and mentions the accident again.

_Please, please. Please let it be you. I don't want anyone but you._

Eren's world only consists of the rundown cafe, where a handsome man with eyes of ash gray is diving into the ocean of his heart. Will he part the waters and uncover the hidden treasure? A jewel Eren's kept untouched far too long. A dazzling brilliant gem called love? Eren bites down on his lips, wishing on the universe, and praying to God the man will be his.

He slides down the note, and Eren reads it anxiously.

_It's him! It's him, Mom!_

Tears threaten to form in the corner of his eyes, and Eren quickly collects himself. He has to reread the reply to make sure he isn't hallucinating. The emotions are overwhelming, and he nearly suffocates to death. But he wouldn't mind. He'd gladly welcome death with open arms if it's for him. Why? Because he's heard of a love that comes once in a lifetime, and he's sure the man is that love of his.

They speak of the accident, but their conversations cut short when the stranger announces he has to leave for work. 

_No. Don't go. Stay, please?_

He doesn't ask aloud, knowing the obvious answer. Another note slides across, and the rain clouds in his heart immediately vanish. 

_Oh my fucking god. He gave me his number!!!!_

Eren nearly squeals in joy. He thought their relationship ended before having a chance to begin. He watches the man exit the cafe, and Eren mouths a silent goodbye through the window, waving. 

In less than 24 hours, he experienced an array of emotions. But none of which he'll regret. It's been forever since he's felt as if the world's bursting into a colorful expanse of fireworks. He also got the answers to the questions surrounding the incident. The whole mess likely happened because of his schizophrenic episode. He must have jumped in front of the man’s car during an attack and collapsed from the aftermath. The brunette’s torn between happiness and fear. If he never experienced the hallucinations, then they would have never crossed paths again. But he also put the stranger under huge levels of stress. He can’t imagine how the raven must feel, knowing he almost killed someone. Eren hopes he requests a considerably huge favor. He would go to any length to pay his respects and express gratitude towards the man’s life-saving efforts.

Armin jogs up to the table and snaps his fingers in front of his face. Eren floats down from cloud nine. The blonde quickly slides a chair next to him and immediately begins signing.

 **Armin** : Tell me everything! 

_And here I go again. It's far too soon to be happy. I've gotta deal with this first._

The talk, or rather, signing session with Armin, was a massive headache. He had to snake around all of the blonde's questions, and with every lie he told, a piece of his soul splattered with blank ink. Eren wove a fake tale explaining he was busy volunteering at his father's clinic, trying to earn community service hours for university. He was bone achingly tired after his shift, and when he returned home, he misplaced his hearing aids. Hopefully, the white lie is enough to relieve his best friend's worries. However, Eren can't help but be a little suspicious. Armin never mentioned his interaction with the stranger. 

The brunette is mopping the floors and squinting at the back of Armin's head, trying to read his mind. The blonde's at the register, continuing to take orders. He turns around to make the customer's drink, quickly signing to Eren. 

**Armin** : Can you dust the counter? 

Eren nods and returns the mop to the storage room. 

_Maybe he's busy thinking about his boyfriend._

Grabbing a clean towel from the basket, he walks towards the counter and begins wiping. Dust floats in the air, making him cough. 

_There's no purpose to the back aching labor. The place is fated to be a home for grime and soot of all kind._

Eren sighs, resuming his cleaning. 

_At least I'll be getting fed._

Armin promised to pay for lunch, and he gladly accepted the chore. Who knows when he'll next lay eyes on food other than dried up cereal and mold-ridden crackers? 

_Why haven't you mentioned him?_

The suspense is killing Eren, and he wants to pry the answer out of him. 

_Should I ask?_

After he sees the blonde handing the last customer in line their coffee, Eren walks up, gently tapping his shoulder. Armin spins to face him and tilts his head in question.

 **Eren** : About the man-

He immediately grabs the brunette's hands, furrowing his eyebrows and shaking his head. Eren blinks his emerald eyes in confusion. 

_What?_

Armin releases his hold and proceeds to sign. 

**Armin** : It's okay. Tell me when you're ready. And don't worry, I won't mention anything to Mikasa.

_Oh my God. I'm gonna cry. Why is he so understanding? I don't deserve you, buddy._

Truth be told, Eren would have preferred to keep the matter between him and the stranger a secret. He fears the small spark they share will extinguish if others were to intervene. But he felt terrible keeping his best friend in the dark. Relationships and dating are topics of discussion everyone spills to their closest companion. He felt Armin had the right to now. However, it seems his best friend is one step ahead and already knew how he felt. 

**Eren** : Thanks. I promise to tell you eventually.

 **Armin** : I'll be waiting.

He gives him a warm smile, and they hug. He melts into the embrace, having forgotten what real, pure affection is. After all the abuse, Eren associated touch with pain. But after today, his perspective has slightly shifted. He held hands with a man who believes to be the love of his life and received a warm, friendly embrace from his best friend. 

_Am I truly deserving of all this? A monster like me?_

Evil should be demolished and feared, not accepted and appreciated. The brunette's unsure of how to process these unprecedented emotions. But he's sure of one thing...

_I could definitely get used to it._


	9. Just Like Magic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyy lovelies!! I apologize for the wait!! Classes have started again, and my updates are going to be whack. I never know when I'm gonna get anything done, or how long it'll take! I hope you can be patient! I love the support I'm earning on the story so far! Y'all mean so much to me! I hope you enjoy this chapter tho! It might be a little rushed, I apologize! GIVE ME SOME FEEDBACCKKK! LOVE U GUYS!

The world is a shitty place. It's a basic concept Levi grasped at a very young age. He knew living meant suffering, and the universe isn't kind enough to stick a fucking bandage over the wounds. Sometimes, he wished for a break—just a small pause, granting him enough freedom to breathe in peace. But, that's why specific hopes and aspirations are labeled a "wish." Because there's only a one in a million probability, they'll come true. Unless, of course, you happen to reside in some fucking mystical forest and befriend animals like deers who carry stupid ass lime disease. But seriously, what kind of coke do these shitty princesses snort? You have to be at a certain level of high to slobber your mouth over a frog.

Sadly Levi's not some gorgeous maiden with blonde hair and a sweet personality. Instead, he's a man blessed with the misfortune of being shorter than the dumbass snowman from _Frozen_. If only Levi were a damsel in distress, a whisk of a stupid magical wand and a bullshit spell could grant his wish.

Cracking his knuckles, he glares down at the figure sprawled on the floor with a bruise on his eye. He inches closer, pure anger radiating off his muscled form. Glass from broken beer bottles crack beneath his footsteps.

"Go on. Repeat what you fucking said. Why be such a pussy now?"

The man whimpers, trying to crawl away. But Levi forces his foot into his mouth and cracks his jaw.

"Aww, can't speak? What a fucking pity. Too bad I don't give a shit."

Pressing down, he breaks a tooth. Blood trickles down the man's jaw, and he shoves his foot against his throat, blocking the airway. Strangled screams escape the person's lips.

"Don't ever lay a hand on him again. Otherwise, I'll make sure you enter the fucking gates of hell."

Yeah, if only Levi's wish would have come true. He could have chosen an alternative route and avoided sullying his favorite pair of dress shoes.

Ah well. What to do except retaliate. If the world's going to be bitch, be a fucking bitch back.

That's Levi Ackerman's motto, and he's a man that lives by his word.  
\-------------------------------------------------------  
(3 hours earlier)

"Oh, stop being such a party pooper."

"No means fucking no, Hange. Get your filthy arms off me. I don't want white powder from those diabetic donuts you've been eating on my suit."

"But Levi!"

_God, can she just shut her mouth?_

He managed to finish the paperwork, clocking out on time. He wished to go home, shower, and wait for Eren's text. Maybe even indulge in some delicious red wine and a good book. But life decides to throw a harsh wind on his sail, diverting his ship in another direction.

The talk with Erwin went surprisingly smooth. He wasn’t upset Levi kept the whole incident hidden, and he owes a ‘thank you’ to Armin. He knows for a fact, some of the coconut’s rainbow personality managed to rub off on his boyfriend. The giant blonde was never as understanding. However, it appears he’s changed since being in a relationship. The powers of love are truly frightening. 

Before they closed the chapter on the matter, he did warn Levi to tread carefully around Eren. According to a few stories he heard from Armin, the brunette’s life is far more complicated than it appears. The coconut never went into depth and only touched the tip of the iceberg. But he did explain, Eren has a turbulent relationship with his father. Levi assumes the kid’s merely experiencing a hormonal roller coaster every teenager has and grows out of. For now, he’ll take Erwin’s advice with a grain of salt. 

_Why can't they go by themselves? And leave me in peace?_

"It's going to be boring without you!"

"No, it's not."

"Yes, it is."

"No."

"Yes."

"Fucking Christ. Do I look like a babysitter of some sort? I'm not about to haul your stupid drunk ass home."

"Don't worry, Moblit said he'd pick me up!"

_May God reserve a seat in heaven for that poor man. He has the right to happiness in the afterlife for putting up with the suffering._

_"_ Then why do I have to fucking go?"

"Because you're my best friend! And "F" is for friends who do stuff together, "U" is for you and me! "N" is for anywhere and anytime at all-"

"SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP!"

A few seconds of silence pass by.

"Down here in the deep blue sea!"

"Oh my fucking God, I swear I will screw your neck off like a fucking bottle cap and throw it across the mother fucking Pacific Ocean."

"You don't like Spongebob?"

"..."

"Levi?"

"..."

"L to the E to the V and I. LEVI!"

"If I go, will you surgically sew your mouth shut?"

"I don't think Moblit will like that."

"I will."

"Awww, don't be so mean. But okay, I promise to quiet down!"

"Break the agreement, and I'll break your neck."

"Okie! Now, let's go!"

All he wished for were peace and relaxation. Instead, he's being dragged to a crowded room filled with drunk assholes and boisterous trap remixes. He hates clubbing, absolutely despises the concept. But Gunther and Eld wanted to go as a celebration for completing the deadline for the company's upcoming project. They invited Hange and the rest of the office. But Petra and Oluo are busy with their newborn baby, and Erwin has a date with Armin. However, Levi's and Hange's circumstances do not give them the option to decline or make an excuse. He has no social life, granting him plenty of freedom, and Hange is a crack addict, willing to jump into any random spree, whether she has the time or not.

He already refused their offer, explaining his schedules packed. His idea of "busy" consisted of staying home and cleaning or reading. But according to Hange, his list of "to-do's" does not count as official plans. He even told her his accommodations to text Eren, but she threw the excuse out the window.

_'As long as your phone isn't superglued to the wall, just bring it with you, and text him at the club.'_

No. Levi doesn't want to do that. He wants to speak with the kid in peace. How is he supposed to focus on Eren when a crowd of sweaty people rubs their germs and filth over him.

_If any fucking asshole grinds their scrawny ass on me, I will send them soaring out the shitty stratosphere._

He's going to need to be on guard until they leave. God, it feels as if he's on the front lines again in the Marines. The only difference is, he can't just break someone's spine intentionally. He has a lay low on the murder. Maybe lie saying his hand slipped if he decides to shove his drink against some idiot's skull.

"Oh, this is going to be exciting."

"Once we leave, yes."

"Stop being grumpy. You got to let loose sometimes and open your horizons. Why spend your days caressing and ogling bleach bottles? You know, sometimes I wonder if you'll walk down the aisle, hand in hand, with a mop or broom instead of a human."

"You know, sometimes I wonder if you'll ever shut up."

Unbeknownst to Hange, Levi's already set on declaring his vows to a special someone. A beautiful person, blessed with a heart of kindness and the purest blue of oceans in his eyes. Levi can't wait to get on one knee and ask for a lifelong commitment of love. Their wedding will be the best out there, and Levi's willing to empty his bank account—anything to satisfy his sweetheart.

_Fuck. I bet he'll look sexy as fuck in a wedding dress._

They're not even dating yet, and his mind's already racking images of tearing the white gown apart. Levi wants to lay eyes on that gorgeous body from all the angles and positions he'll do him. Licking and sucking the beautiful tan skin, flushed a bright pink. Levi will savor the sweet taste of honey and cinnamon. He'll gaze lovingly into hooded teal eyes, filled with pure adoration, while tracing his tongue against parted lips, chanting his name in utter devotion. The pure bliss from feeling the brat's small fingers threaded into his hair, tugging from pressure and overstimulation, sounds heavenly. Especially when they scrape under his buzzcut, Levi can't wait to feel Eren's wet walls milking him dry. And when pulls out, watching those creamy thighs dripping with his seed, proof of their lovemaking.

But first and foremost, they need to become an official couple. It'll be rude of him to jump the gun and pounce on his little prey. Patience is a virtue. He'll slowly prepare before diving in and savoring the exquisite dish.

"Gunther and Eld said they'd be waiting outside the entrance! Let's hurry up and go!"

Is he actually doing this? Wasting his precious time, clubbing like a young twenty-year-old. He's a man in his thirties, with a financially stable job and responsibilities. The words "fun" and exciting" were only applicable during his younger days. Levi's can be classified as youthful, but the past has progressed his aging. Being in the military for ten years made him view his thirties in a different light. War can age a man finer than wine. All the experience he accumulated stationed in various locations, barely escaping from the clutches of death, is far greater than someone his age should have. But, maybe life is returning the enjoyment they robbed of him. He's experiencing love, an emotion he's been deprived of far longer than the average person. The friends he's lost have been replaced with newer people, and now he's even socializing. Is this what 'normal' feels like? Or having 'fun'? Levi's not sure, but maybe he can get used to it.

"Oh, I forgot how fancy you're car is!"

"Make sure to wipe your hands, and don't lay a finger on anything. I don't want you spreading your disgusting germs everywhere."

"Don't worry. I started washing my hands after using the bathroom."

"Started? What the fuck were you doing before? Licking the shit off?"

"Oh my gosh, silly, I was joking."

"Here's some personal advice from me to you. Never apply for a job as a stand-up comedian."

"I already know. I'd be way too famous and deprive everyone else a chance. Sucks, I have to keep my talent hidden."

"Keep it up, and you'll be doing everyone a favor."

Levi unlocks his car, opening the door for her. He wants to avoid any grimy fingerprints on the Porche. Either way, he'll be doing a full sanitization after she leaves.

"What a gentleman. Eren's going to be a lucky bunny to have you."

For some reason, hearing her say the brunette's name aloud blew a fuse. She's speaking as if they're on familiar bases, and Levi doesn't like it. There shouldn't be a reason for her to be as close with Eren. Matter of factly, she should stop trying to get on friendly terms. The raven's not a fan of sharing. What belongs to him is solely his.

"Stop acting as if you know him."

Hange buckles her seatbelt and turns her attention to him. She repeatedly blinks in confusion before grinning ear to ear.

"Oh, so that's how it is."

"What the fuck do you mean?"

"Nothing."

She snickers, and Levi has the sudden urge to punch a hole through the glass window. Forget the damage. He'd rather pay cash than be sent to prison for homicide.

"Say it now, Hange. Before I throw you out of the car."

"Pinky, promise you won't be angry!"

"No. We aren't some fucking kindergarteners on an annoying ass playdate. Stop with shitty the games."

"But I know you'll want to kill me."

"I already do. It wouldn't make much of a difference."

"What? Why?"

"It doesn't fucking matter. Just tell me. Otherwise, I'm not moving an inch from the parking lot. Moblit will watch the morning news and find your corpse rotting in the back of my trunk."

Oh God, he's letting his inner military general loose.

_Calm down, Levi. She's not some war captive or another cadet. The crackhead's a friend. Go a little easy._

He momentarily softens his glare, scanning her features for any signs of discomfort or fear. Thankfully, she looks as dumb as ever, with a smirk on her lips. Guess she's stronger than she appears or far too stupid to recognize his threat. Levi's going with the latter. After all, it's Hange. She has the attention span of a fly and the brain cells of a fucking cow.

 _"_ Okay, fine. All I was thinking is, you're jealous."

_What? Did he hear that right?_

"No."

Levi? Jealous? Impossible. It's not as if he—

_I do. Fuck. Of course, I care about him._

The wall he built defending his pride is slowly beginning to crumble. All his life, he learned a person's existence is spread equally among men. No one should be observed from a higher standpoint than another. A soldier is a soldier, regardless of their race or ethnicity. They are to be treated like pigs, without exception. A sad past? How unfortunate. Everyone has one, and you're no different. However, he can't help but peer at the brunette through another lens. Eren's special. He's the love of his life and forever will be. No other can replace that soft smile and adoring expression. Of course, Levi would be jealous. It's his Eren, and he has the right to be protective.

"See. I knew you'd be upset."

"Shut up."

But there's no way he'd tell shitty four-eyes that. He'd rather drink coffee from that fucking cafe.

"Can we leave now? We're going to be late."

Levi presses hard on the accelerator, making her yelp in surprise.

"Slow down! I don't want to die!"

"I'm merely helping you arrive at your ball on time, Cinderella. Don't want to miss the dance, right?"

"Hmph."

She folds her arms and puffs out her cheeks. For a few restful minutes, neither exchange words, and Levi can focus on driving. Although, most of his thoughts are centered around the teen. Hange has her head facing the window, attempting to ignore him. He sees her occasionally peering his way, but he pays no mind. The moment he gives her attention, the silence will be broken. He'll have to deal with her obnoxious ranting until they reach the club. Hopefully, she'll remain quiet.

"Leeeeviiiii."

He wished too soon.

"What."

"Can I connect to the Bluetooth?"

"..."

"Please?"

"No."

"I promise not to play anything stupid."

"We're literally headed towards a place blasting music. Why damage your ears early?"

"But the silence is annoying me. Unless you want to talk about something...or a special someone?"

She wiggles her eyebrows suggestively.

"If you dare put on the theme song from _Adventure Time_ , say goodbye to your phone."

"Yay! You're the best! Love you."

"Whatever."

Thankfully, they listened to some Conan Gray and Olivia Rodrigo. Neither of which he's familiar with. Hange just introduced him. Levi's not a huge fan of music. Unless he's coincidentally somewhere with a song playing, he won't intentionally listen.

_Maybe I'll need to do some research._

Considering Eren likes singing, the brat's definitely invested in music. If Levi wants to close the distance, he'll have to start opening his ears more.

"There they are!"

Hange points to the entrance. Eld and Gunther are blowing a smoke, waiting for their arrival. They recognize Levi's car and wave.

His eyes scan the surrounding area, searching for a free space. There's an empty spot between two cars, and he parallel parks by the curb. Hange immediately bolts out, running to greet them. Levi remains seated for a few minutes and contemplates whether he should drive away or stay.

_I'm already here. Might as well go._

Hesitantly walking out, he meets them at the line.

"Oi, Levi! I didn't think you'd come."

Eld lightly slaps his shoulder, making him grimace.

"I wasn't until shitty four eyes dragged me."

"Ah well. Less fighting for the ladies. Otherwise, they'd be fussing over just us two. Now there's an extra handsome fella for them to fuck with."

They all burst out laughing while he remained annoyed.

_I should have driven home._

Gunther pulls out four special passes, with gold stars engraved.

"I got these from a friend who works here. They allow you access to a secret strip show hosted in the back. Front seats too!"

Hange squeals in excitement.

"That's awesome!"

"Aren't you married and straight?"

"Let's not sweat the small details, Levi."

"I'm beginning to question your sensibility. Not that you had any, to begin with."

"Guys, we're up next. Let's go!"

They quickly show them their IDs, and the security shuffles aside. Sadly, life throws another curve ball his way.

"Hold up. No minors allowed."

_Can't he read? My date of birth is stamped on there. Fuck no. I don't have the patience to deal with this._

_"_ Move before I shove your fucking face into the concrete."

The man towers a good four feet over Levi, but that doesn't make him weaker. A solid punch to the stomach and he's sure to pass out. There's a reason Levi earned the title "Humanity's Strongest" amongst his soldiers. He's never once lost a fight.

"I-I-I'm sorry."

The look of fear on the man's face is telltale enough for Levi to know he's genuinely apologizing. More so, begging to spare his life.

"Next time. Don't be so quick to judge."

His shortness has always been an issue. Levi can't count the number of times people looked down on him for how small he is. But he's managed to prove them wrong. What he lacks in height, he makes up for strength.

Gunther shakes his head in disappointment.

"Again? I thought folks knew better?"

"People will always be people. A walking bundle of trash."

Levi decides to end the matter at that simple fact. Mulling over the situation won't change the outcome.

"Are we going in or not. I want to leave early."

_Maybe a few drinks can help lighten the mood._

He had plans to stay sober. However, from how the night's looking, there's no other option. If he wishes to survive, alcohol will be his biggest ally.

Heavy music blasts in his ears and the bass nearly makes the room shake. He can feel the sound pounding against his skull.

"Okay, guys, let's meet here in around 10 minutes! The show won't start until later."

Eld and Gunther race into the crowd, and Hange joins them. Levi scans the room for an empty place to sit. There's an open seat near the bar, and he pushes past several sweaty bodies to reach the place.

Sitting down, he brushes his suit, imagining all the filth he's acquired by sliding past people. As expected, most of the crowd consists of adults in their twenties and the occasional teenagers who manage to sneak in with fake IDs.

_I don't belong here._

The whole mood feels off. Someone like him with a dreary life shouldn't be in a room with people exuberating happy vibes. He feels like an outcast.

"What can I get you?"

The bartender asks for his order. Levi can't help finding his appearance amusing. The kid resembles a horse, with his two-toned hair and long face. He looks way young to be serving alcohol.

"Give me a Sex on the Beach. On the rocks."

"Sure thing."

He turns to prepare the drink, and Levi resumes zoning out. His thoughts drift to a certain brunette.

_He hasn't texted me yet. Did he lose the slip of paper? Or did he forget?_

He expected the tan beauty to message him after work immediately. But it's been an hour, and he hasn't received a single notification.

_He's got his own life and problems. I'm probably the last of his concerns._

As strongly as he feels towards Eren, he can't expect him to recuperate his affection. They've only met three times. Well, the second doesn't count. The whole situation was more of an accident. The brunette probably views him as a lifesaver more than a lover. Heck, for all Levi knows, the teen's probably straighter than a plank of wood. All his emotions are probably meaningless, and they'll lead to heartbreak. But he doesn't mind. At least he's finally experiencing love. That, in and of itself, is a blessing.

"Here you are. Enjoy."

He slides his drink across the table, and Levi picks it up, downing the first few bitter sips.

_Not bad._

Despite his questionable appearance, he has some decent skills.

"The name's Jean, by the way."

"Great. I didn't ask."

Can't he just serve him and leave? Why strike a conversation?

"Hey, what's with the attitude?!"

"Learn to read the atmosphere, kid. Leave me the fuck alone."

"Alright, geez. Who shoved a stick up your ass tonight?"

"Unless you want to experience the sensation. I suggest you back off."

With a disgruntled huff, he walks away and attends to another customer.

_Thank God._

He didn't want to commit murder the first few minutes he arrived.

"Leeeviii!"

Is the time already up? He's only halfway through his drink—what a waste.

"Come on, let's go! The show's about to start!"

The last thing he needs is to watch a bunch of naked women twerking their asses and rubbing up against him for cash. His hard-earned money deserves to be spent more valuably, for example, on Eren.

"Do I have to?"

"Would you rather sit here alone and drown yourself with Vodka?"

"Yes."

She rolls her eyes.

"Is this about Eren? I'm guessing he hasn't texted you yet. Enough acting all gloomy and depressed! As your best friend, I can't leave you all miserable. Now, get up, and let's have some fun!"

She pulls him by his arm, and he stumbles out of his seat.

"Okay, okay. I'm coming. Now, let go, before you wrinkle my suit."

They shove past the crowd, nearing the back room. The place is heavily secured with two bodyguards. Eld is by the entrance, alone.

"Gunther's already inside. He couldn't wait any longer."

He shows them the passes, and they enter. The room is large, vast enough for thirty people. Seats are already filled, and only a few remain in the front row. Gunther's seated near the stage, and they join him.

"I haven't had a good feel of pussy in a while. I needed this."

Levi's repulsed hearing Gunther's words. He doesn't understand how easily some people can objectify women. They aren't created solely for pleasure. Yet, the only aspect society chooses to focus on is their asses, breasts, and curves. Never emotions or personality. But, for strippers, they probably don't care. Their beauty is a free investment to earn cash.

"Ladies and gentleman. Tonight, I present to you our exclusive entertainment! Only a few lucky guests are able to watch. Consider it an honor to be here!"

_More like a pain in the ass._

"Without further or do! Let the show begin!"

The MC runs off the platform, and a woman with blonde hair parted to the side and ponytail enters. She has a pissed off expression, but beautiful regardless. She wears a short red dress, with a slit parted to the side, exposing her left thigh. No shoes are on her feet, and she's walking barefoot. Grabbing hold of a pole protruding from the center of the stage, she seductively wraps her leg around the metal beam, making her dress rise. She flashes her red laced underwear making the crowd whistle and swoon.

Levi watches with a bored attitude, completely unfazed. Guess his disinterest managed to capture the dancer's eyes, and she struts his way, swaying her hips.

_Fuck my life._

She's probably pissed he's not giving her the proper attention and wants to draw an expression out of him. Too bad Levi's not the type of man to easily be turned on. Unless you meet his standards, he'll remain completely limp and stoic.

She crouches down to his height, tracing her fingers across his jaw. He has half the will to swat them away. But he's not about to embarrass her in front of the crowd. She's just doing her job, trying to earn a living.

Meanwhile, Hange is squealing like an idiot, and Eld and Gunther are watching in awe.

Removing her hands, she gracefully slides off the stage and onto his lap. Her weight is settled on his thighs, and she purposefully grinds her hips against his crotch. She leans over, her breath ghosting the shell of his ear. However, none of her actions manage to draw a reaction out of him. His dick remains flaccid and soft. She tries again and scrapes her fingernails under his buzzcut. Unbeknownst to her, she happened to strike his weak spot, and Levi had to bite back a moan.

_Fuck._

He needs to put an end to her behavior before it escalates. If he pays her, she'll leave. Reaching for his pocket, a hand quickly stops him. She threads her fingers through his and continues grinding, using her free hand to play with his buzzcut. It seems like she caught on.

_Hell no. She needs to stop._

Levi's beginning to slowly lose mind, succumbing to the pleasure. His pants are becoming slightly tighter, aching to be torn off. He's entering dangerous territory. Peering at the blonde, a small smirk plays on her lips, and Levi's mind quickly replaces the image with an ocean eyed brat.

All he can visualize is creamy tan thighs placed on either side of his hips. Small hands running up his chest, roaming the muscles. Warm breathes of air, would pant against his lips as Eren's slender figure gyrates down on the bulge in his pants—every movement sending a jolt of pleasure straight down south.

Realizing the dire situation he's in, he snaps back to reality. Pulling his hand free, he rummages his pocket for his wallet and pulls out a couple of hundred's, slamming the cash against her stomach. He leans over and angrily whispers into her ear.

"Here. Now, get the fuck off."

She pulls away, the smirk continuing to play on her lips. She knows she won. He watches her move onto her next prey, and Levi quickly stands up and exits the room. Hange asked where he's going, but he ignored her. His whole attention is focused on a different matter. More specifically, the strain in his pants. Fuck, it feels like he's going to explode.

Rushing into the bathroom, he shuts the stall and rapidly unfastens his belt, zipping open his fly. He pulls down his pants and boxers and wraps his fingers around his crotch. The sensation of freeing his hard-on can only be described as pure bliss. He's too horny and could care less about the dirty, musty state of the cramped space. All he wants is to cum.

His mind drifts to images of Eren. The brunette on his knees, and pink lips wrapped around his dick. He slides his fingers up and down, twisting his wrist when he reaches the base. Levi imagines Eren's mouth-coating his crotch in saliva. He'd curl his fingers into the soft tuft of brown hair and gently thrust into his throat. Low grunts resound off the stall. Thankfully, the bathroom was empty when he entered.

Gliding up to the tip, he sticks his thumb into the slit and throws his head back from the pleasure. He imagines Eren's tongue flicking out, playing with the sensitive area, before swallowing him whole again. The image of his member sliding in and out of the wet confines is pushing him to the edge.

_Fuck I'm close._

Levi quickens the pace and uses the precum spilling from the tip's edge to coat his member. Wet sloppy sounds fill the room, and warm puffs of air escape his lips. His pants become increasingly heavier. He continues picturing Eren, the brunette moaning around his shaft. The pressure is building up, and one last image of hooded teal eyes, peering up at him, drives Levi to completion. He releases onto his hand, capturing the wet sticky liquid.

_Shit. That was intense._

He hasn't busted an orgasm as hard in forever. Not since he first lost his virginity. Post nut clarity replaces the satisfaction, and he grimaces.

_Did I just jack off in a fucking bathroom at a club?_

He's both horrified and disgusted. He uses the clean hand to pull up his pants and boxers, closing his fly and fastening the belt. He opens the stall, finding the room to be empty. Levi would have had to kill anyone who heard him. Luckily, no one needed to be a victim of his shame. Walking over to the sink, he uses his elbow to twist the faucet and washes his hands under the cold water.

He drys them using a handkerchief and exits. Loud music greets his ears again, and he searches the room for any signs of Hange, Eld, and Gunther. He can't spot them anywhere and assumes they're still watching the show.

Levi's going to head home and rest. He's had enough 'fun' for the night. Moblit's picking up shitty four eyes, so he doesn't need to wait for her. Pushing past the crowd, he heads towards the entrance.

"Hey, look! There's a fight!"

Great, what morons would try to start a ruckus in the stupid compacted area. There's barely any room to swing your fist without hitting a bystander.

_Whatever. It's none of my business._

He reaches the front of the building and shuffles his pockets for the car keys.

"Oh my, God! Eren!"

Levi immediately freezes. He manages to catch the name despite the loud music.

_Eren? Did I hear that right?_

_"_ Are you okay? You're bleeding!"

Panic rushes through Levi's veins, and he shoves past the crowd, tracing the unfamiliar voice. The person they're referring to could be a whole other Eren. What are the chances only his love is gifted with the gorgeous name? But, he can't look past the event. The risk is too high, and he refuses to play his cards safe.

A group of people is circling the bar, yelling and hollering.

"Fight! Fight! Fight!"

Reaching the center, his eyes widen at sight. Sprawled on the floor is Eren, with a bloody nose. A girl around his age with short black hair is kneeling by his side. Her eyebrows are furrowed in worry, and she's cleaning the oozing red mess from his face.

Levi immediately rushes towards his side, startling him. He must be just as surprised.

"That's what you deserve. Prancing back into my life."

He looks up and meet's Jean's angry eyes. Glancing at his clenched fist, he sees blood staining the knuckles. Two and two connect, and Levi grasps the situation.

His body’s quivering with the urgency to kill.

"Was it you?"

The crowd immediately hushes.

"Mind your own fucking business, dwarf."

"I asked if it was you."

"And? Am I supposed to answer? I'm not about to take orders from one of Snow White's little helpers. Now, fuck off."

That's it. He can't hold back anymore. The jackass needs to be taught a lesson. Levi lands a solid punch to his face, sending him crashing back onto the bar table. The impact causes the jars of alcohol to shatter onto the floor.

Cracking his knuckles, he glares down at the figure. A bruise is forming around his eye. Levi inched closer, pure anger radiating off his muscled form.

"Go on. Repeat what you fucking said. Why be such a pussy now?"

Jean whimpers, trying to crawl away. But Levi forces his foot into his mouth and cracks his jaw.

"Aww, can't speak? What a fucking pity. Too bad I don't give a shit."

Pressing down, he breaks a tooth. Blood trickles down his jaw, and Levi shoves his foot against his throat, blocking the airway. Strangled screams escape Jean's lips.

"Don't ever lay a hand on him again. Otherwise, I'll make sure you enter the fucking gates of hell."

If only Levi had a fairy godmother. He could have wished for life to give him a break. But as we know, he's not some fortunate Disney princess. His desires don't simply come true with a simple snap of his fingers or whisk of a magical wand.

No worries, though. Levi will use his fist.

He'll still manage to get everything he wants.

Just like magic.


End file.
